Penguin

Holy moly, y’all. I did it. I’m now a nationally registered EMT.

i’m a single issue voter and that issue is somebody do something for fuck’s sake

Time for another giveaway! Repost this post, Like and be following us to enter to win a custom XS, SM, MD, or L Toy! Winner(s) will be selected on May 1st at 12 PM ET! Rules follow

Since we all need a pick me up and to celebrate being nominated for the AltStar Award by @altpornnet.bsky.social!

Time for another giveaway!

Repost this post, Like and be following us to enter to win a custom XS, SM, MD, or L Toy!

Winner(s) will be selected on May 1st at 12 PM ET!

Rules follow

This body is built on the ruins of
All the people I have ever been
Wise men build their houses on rocks
While the rest of us settle for skeletons
-The Narcissist Cookbook “The Simplest Words”

Left arm hooked up to an aphaeresis machine with blood in the tube.

I love visiting the vampires.

First workplace injury in a very long time, but I managed to strain 3 different ligaments and bruise the bones in my ankle. Boot and cane are my fashionable accessories for the time being.

Crossed 100,000 miles on my Civic yesterday. That means just under 89,000 miles since buying her in 2021. Onward!

Congrats!

I’m prepared to organize my hands into fists.

these days you can't say "be the change you want to see in the world", on account of the specific details of the change everyone wants to see

three panel cartoon by @emilyscartoons.bsky.social … in the first panel one person says "let's not talk about politics any more, I can't bear it" and the other person replies "same." in the second panel, they say nothing. in the third panel, the first person yells "THE THING IS THOUGH" and the second person yells back "THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS"

literally every time I talk to friends

If you hear me say that I’m trying to find ways to bring support to our workforce so we can stop accumulating dead homies… and your reaction is to sidestep the chain of command to stop me from getting a position because I’m “too negative,” you are part of the culture problem.

Two foot tall stack of clothing, with the top being all black graphic tees and the bottom a variety of camouflage pants.

Packing never really changes, just the destination.

I deeply fear blood I donated is in a man's boner giving a girl the weakest dick of her life

Being told specifically that they weren’t restructuring to get rid of me and that the position was mine, only to have one of his subordinates email and tell me they’re going with another candidate? That I’m taking personally.

Oh, the elimination of the position isn’t something I’m taking personally.

It's cool though, they eliminated my position. Apparently I'm not supposed to ask such hard questions.

When you interview for a position and ask “What does Company Name bring to the table for me as an employee, why should I work for you?” and neither interviewer (who both self described as interested in how to support staff) are able to answer… that’s not promising.

Itty bitty hairs are starting to finally show on my cheeks. Is this what trans joy feels like?

So would it pulse with the compressions, or in the rest between?

Have you noticed that since Luigi took direct action, Elmo has been using one of his spawn as a meat shield?

For a phone avoidant geriatric millennial, I sure do spend a metric fucktonne of time on hold.

Just a gentle reminder, on this day of days

Don't write down your crimes. Not that YOU do crimes, or I would do crimes, of course.

Stay frosty.

Trying to migrate over here to get away from… well, you know. All of it.