Kevin Comics

1. Wearing a pink kitchen apron, Kevin walks in, holding a large cooked turkey on a platter. Across the table, his bird perches on the back of chair watching. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Kevin says. 2. Kevin places the turkey down on the table. His bird leans over to inspect. "Jerry?" his bird says. 3. Kevin's bird looks up at him. "I think I knew this guy," he says. 4. Kevin looks shocked. "Oh gosh! I'm sorry!" he says. "Don't be," his bird responds. "He was a jerk. Let's eat."

Have fun eating Jerry! 🦃🦜

Happy #batmanday

1. In a dark police squad room, a tech sits in front of a monitor and keyboard. "Sergeant!" he says. "We have security camera footage from the crime scene!" The sergeant leans over his shoulder. "Show me," he says. 2. Close on the monitor: grainy footage of a parking garage. The sergeant points at a small, dark silhouette of a figure walking. "There's our perp," he says. "Enhance!" 3. The footage zooms in 200% on the silhouette. Not much more detail. "Enhance again!" the seargant says. 4. The footage zooms in to 400%. A little contrast in the figure, but still not enough. "Enhance using generative A.I.!" the sergeant commands. 5. The footage transforms into a purple-haired anime waifu with… a rather large chest. She winks and throws up the "peace" sign. 6. Back to the tech and the sergeant. "Nice," the sergeant says, smiling.

Enhance!

Panel 1: Person 1 introduces Person 2 to Person 3. "Meet Casey," Person 1 says. "Hi! Call me 'Case.'" Person 2 says. Panel 2: "Actually, call me 'Casey B.'" Person 2 says. "No wait- 'C.B.'" they continue. "-Or maybe 'C-Bone.'" Panel 3: "Hang on," they continue. "Was 'Casey B' better? Forget it. Let's just go back to 'Casey.'" Panel 4: Person 1 explains: "Casey works at HBO Max." "Ah," Person 3 nods.

This is so dumb i'm sorry

Panel 1: Person 1 introduces Person 2 to Person 3. "Meet Casey," Person 1 says. "Hi! Call me 'Case.'" Person 2 says. Panel 2: "Actually, call me 'Casey B.'" Person 2 says. "No wait- 'C.B.'" they continue. "-Or maybe 'C-Bone.'" Panel 3: "Hang on," they continue. "Was 'Casey B' better? Forget it. Let's just go back to 'Casey.'" Panel 4: Person 1 explains: "Casey works at HBO Max." "Ah," Person 3 nods.

This is so dumb i'm sorry

1. Kevin steps up to the sliding glass doors of a Wal-Maht. The caption reads, "Ever since I was a kid, I've loved automatic sliding doors." 2. Extreme close-up on Kevin's eyes. "I still pretend I'm opening them with my mind," the caption reads. 3. [Fantasy] Kevin, dressed in Jedi garb, waves his hand to open the sliding glass doors. "...like a Jedi" 4. [Back to reality] Kevin strides confidently past a Wal-Maht Greeter, who says, "Welcome to Wal-" Kevin interrupts "TO THE SOCK SECTION, MY PADAWAN!"

May the 4th be with you #starwarsday

Panel 1: Mark Zuckerberg stands on the stage at a Meta all-hands meeting, wearing a little chain and a shirt that says "Cool Dude." "I think our company could use more Masculine Energy," he says into a mic. In the crowd, an employee raises their hand. "Excuse me, Mr. Zuckerberg," the person asks. Panel 2: The person stands up, asking, "By "Masculine Energy," do you mean a mature definition where men in power use their relative strength to protect and uplift those less privileged?" Panel 3: The person continues, "…or a more childish definition where men in power are free to be aggressive and harm others without being held accountable?" Panel 4: Hold on Zuckerberg. Panel 5: "You're all fired," Zuck says.

"Masculine Energy"

1. A runner perches on the starting line of a race. A nearby sign reads "2025 Start." Behind the sign, a judge looks at their watch and holds a starting pistol in the air. "This year will be my year!" says the runner. 2. The judge fires the pistol: "bang!" The runner takes off smiling. 3. The runner trips on uneven ground. 4. The runner faceplants on the hard ground. THWAP! 5. The runner lies face down on the ground. 6. Wider to reveal the runner only a few feet from the starting line. "Leave me here until next January," says the runner.

Happy January 2nd

A graphic that reads "Skip the Algorithms. Get my new comics straight to your inbox. Join for free at my website"

That's it! Thanks for reading this far. Again, you can find a full archive at www.kevincomics.com or sign up for my free newsletter and get my new comics straight to your inbox: www.kevincomics.com/newsletter/ Cheers!

Panel 1: Sitting on the stage of a conference interview, Mark Zuckerberg — wearing a chain and a shirt that says "Cool Dude" — is being interviewed by a journalist. "Any questions for Mr. Zuckerberg?" the interviewer asks. "Yes, here in the front?" Panel 2: A person stands up from the crowd and asks, "Yeah hi. Instead of wasting billions on A.I. that no one wants, why not use that money to pay us creators a living wage so we can keep making real, human content that will make your platforms more naturally compelling?" Panel 3: Zuck answers, "Because you idiots already do that for free." Panel 4: The person in the audience scowls.

🎤🙋😠

Panel 1: Kevin lays on his couch, looking at his phone. Behind him, The Grustle Monster stands with his arms crossed. "Eight hours for sleep. Eight hours for work. Two hours for meals. One hour for exercise," he bellows. Panel 2: The Grustle Monster continues, "That leaves five hours per day for your side-hustle. You say you don't have time, but it's your discipline that's lacking." Panel 3: Annoyed, Kevin retorts, "You forgot: two hours for commute, three hours for family, two hours for bathing and chores…" Panel 4: The Grustle Monster does the math. "That's twenty-six hours per day." "Exactly," Kevin says, "So piss off."

👹🛋️⌛

Panel 1: A website—personified with glasses, a moustache, and arms and hands—sits in a chair at a desk. Across its forehead is written EVERY JOB SITE. "Just give me your resumé," it beckons to someone off-camera, "And I'll auto-populate our application for you!" Panel 2: Wide shot revealing Kevin sitting on the other side of the desk. Wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and red tie, he hands his resume to the website. Panel 3: The website adjusts its glasses, looking at Kevin's resume. "Ah!" it says. "I see your last job was 'Resumé' with a start date of 'Baltimore' and an end date of 'Microsoft Word'." Panel 4: Reverse on Kevin. He frowns and beckons the website to give him his paper back. "-Sigh- Just let me do it," he says.

🤖📄😠

A cover graphic that reads "All of the Comics I Made This Year" with an arrow inviting you to swipe

Here's a 🧵 of ALL the new comics I made this year (there's only three …I was busy). If you like them, visit wwww.kevincomics.com for more. Or sign up for my free email newsletter at www.kevincomics.com/newsletter/. Or just keep scrolling. Whatever. It's your life.

Panel 1: Kevin sits as his desk, looking over at calendar hanging on the wall. The calendar reads "December." All of the days are crossed off except for the last week. "Ahh!" Kevin smiles. "The week between Christmas and New Year's: when no one expects me to work…" Panel 2. A wider angle reveals The Grustle Monster standing behind Kevin. Arms crossed, The Grustle Monster says, "EXCEPT ME." "…Except my Grustle Monster," Kevin says. Panel 3. The Grustle Monster looms over Kevin as he draws. "NO DAYS OFF, BRO," The Grustle Monster bellows. "THIS IS PRIME GRIND TIME." "…Which is why I feel compelled to draw a comic instead of relaxing," Kevin sighs. Panel 4. "YOU'LL THANK ME WHEN YOU'RE RICH," The Grustle Monster says. "From -comics?-" Kevin retorts. "Do you even -hear- yourself?"

Love this time of year

Two police officers open a storage closet to reveal an older judge — tied up and stripped with a bump on his head. "HE'S OUT THERE RIGHT NOW, YOU FOOLS!" the judge yells.

Bonus panel:

1: Dressed in a sharp blue suit and purple bowtie, Kevin paces back and forth in front of lineup of cute doggos at a dog show. "Bring out the corgi," he says, very seriously. 2: Kevin continues to pace, but in the opposite direction. "…And the French Bulldog, please," he says. 3: Kevin stops in front of the entire line of remaining doggos. "…And all the rest, please," he says. 4: Kevin lays on the ground, swarmed by cute, eager puppers. Standing over him are two old, dour-faced judges holding trophies waiting to be awarded. "I'm going to need more time, please," he says.

If I judged the #NationalDogShow

Have fun eating Jerry 🦃🦜

1. Wearing a pink kitchen apron, Kevin walks in, holding a large cooked turkey on a platter. Across the table, his bird perches on the back of chair watching. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Kevin says. 2. Kevin places the turkey down on the table. His bird leans over to inspect. "Jerry?" his bird says. 3. Kevin's bird looks up at him. "I think I knew this guy," he says. 4. Kevin looks shocked. "Oh gosh! I'm sorry!" he says. "Don't be," his bird responds. "He was a jerk. Let's eat."

Have fun eating Jerry 🦃🦜

1. Egg lays in bed. Wrapped in a purple comforter. Toast stands at the foot. "Are you getting out of bed today?" Toast asks. "No," Egg says. 2. Egg doesn't move. "The world is hot garbage. I live here now," Egg says. 3. Toast makes an offering. "I made waffles," Toast says. 4. Egg & Toast sit at a little table. Eating waffles. Toast is all smiles. Egg is still wrapped in the comforter. "Damn you," says Egg.

Whatever motivates you, keep going

Panel 1: Sitting on the stage of a conference interview, Mark Zuckerberg — wearing a chain and a shirt that says "Cool Dude" — is being interviewed by a journalist. "Any questions for Mr. Zuckerberg?" the interviewer asks. "Yes, here in the front?" Panel 2: A person stands up from the crowd and asks, "Yeah hi. Instead of wasting billions on A.I. that no one wants, why not use that money to pay us creators a living wage so we can keep making real, human content that will make your platforms more naturally compelling?" Panel 3: Zuck answers, "Because you idiots already do that for free." Panel 4: The person in the audience scowls.

[deletes account]

Panel 1: Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there's a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says "$5." Craigslist Guy walks up. "Hey is your lamp still available?" Craigslist Guy asks. "Yup! Just $5!" Kevin says. Panel 2: Without a word, Craigslist Guy starts to literally fade away. Panel 3: Going. Going... Panel 4: Gone. Craigslist Guy has disappeared. Leaving Kevin alone, deadpanning to camera.

Selling stuff on Craigslist

Panel 1: Two Judges look over Chef Alexis' cake. One of them has a clipboard. Alexis stands alongside it with a smile. "...And what have we here?" asks Judge 1. "This is a peanut butter banana cake with whipped ganache," says Alexis. Panel 2: Two Judges look over Chef Rie's cake. Rie stands alongside it with a smile. "...And this?" asks Judge 1. "A chocolate hazelnut cake with salted caramel sauce," Rie says. Panel 3: Two Judges look over Kevin's cake. He stands nearby, arms crossed, smoking. "This is a yellow sheet cake I bought at the grocery store," he says. Panel 4: Kevin stands on the winner's pedestal at the #1 spot. A large trophy at his feet. Still smoking, he holds his arms out as if to say, "What do you want from me?" Alexis sits at second place, upset. Rie sits at third place, sad.

Sheet Cake Rules Everything Around Me (S.C.R.E.A.M. get the money dolla dolla bill yall)

Grustle Hours • Kevin Comics The Grustle Monster is back with some opinions about how Kevin could better use the hours of his day. But Kevin's not having it.

Bonus panel here: www.kevincomics.com/comic/grustl...

Panel 1: Kevin lays on his couch, looking at his phone. Behind him, The Grustle Monster stands with his arms crossed. "Eight hours for sleep. Eight hours for work. Two hours for meals. One hour for exercise," he bellows. Panel 2: The Grustle Monster continues, "That leaves five hours per day for your side-hustle. You say you don't have time, but it's your discipline that's lacking." Panel 3: Annoyed, Kevin retorts, "You forgot: two hours for commute, three hours for family, two hours for bathing and chores…" Panel 4: The Grustle Monster does the math. "That's twenty-six hours per day." "Exactly," Kevin says, "So piss off."

Every second counts ⏱️

Grustle Hours • Kevin Comics The Grustle Monster is back with some opinions about how Kevin could better use the hours of his day. But Kevin's not having it.

Bonus panel here: www.kevincomics.com/comic/grustl...

1: Present Kevin looks at his phone. "Oh look - a new social network," he says. He starts to type a username: "fartybut.." "Heheh," he laughs. 2: A time portal opens and out steps Future Kevin. Future Kevin looks just like Present Kevin, except he has greying hair, a pudgy belly, and a beard. "Stop!" Future Kevin says. 3: Present Kevin is taken aback. "Who are you?" he asks. "I'm YOU from the future!" Future Kevin says. 4: Present Kevin looks incredulous. "I grow a beard in the future?" he asks. "Yeah," Future Kevin says. "Weird," Past Kevin replies. -Swipe for next page-

5: Future Kevin says, "Listen! Someday you'll want to use that account for professional stuff." 6: Present Kevin looks down at his phone as Future Kevin continues. "People won't take you seriously with a dumb username. So don't do it!" 7: Present Kevin smiles as Future Kevin steps back into the time portal. "OK I won't. Thanks!" Present Kevin says. "Thank you!" says Future Kevin. 8: Future Kevin looks down at his phone. His username is now "dumbbeard69."

Me joining Cara today:

Panel 1: Close up on Kevin sitting at the Hot Ones table. His eyes pop out and his mouth pickers. Panel 2: Still close up. Kevin opens his mouth. Fire bursts out. His eyes pour water. Panel 3: Still close up. Kevin hunches over. Crying in pain. Tears streaming from his face. Panel 4: Now wider. We see Sean Evens sitting across from Kevin. A confused look on his face. "We haven't started yet," he says. "I'm OUT!" Kevin cries, head lying on the table.

I drew this comic 4 years before Conan basically did it IRL on Hot Ones
---
#comics #funny #lol #kevincomics #comicstrip #conanobrien

The Secret of My Success • Kevin Comics It's that iconic scene from the Marvel's The Avengers when The Hulk tells Captain America his secret, only with Kevin and burnout.

Secret bonus panel here: www.kevincomics.com/comic/the-se...

Panel 1: Close up on Captain America, during that famous scene in the big battle of the first Avengers movie. "Kevin," he says, "You haven't taken any time off from work in over a year. How are you not burnt out?" Panel 2: Kevin, walking away, looks back over his shoulder with a smile. "That my secret, Cap…" he says. Panel 3: Closer on Kevin. Still with the cocky smile. "…I'm always burnt out!" he says. Panel 4: Reverse on Kevin as he faces away from Captain America. His smile is gone. Replaced by the hundred-yard stare, heavy eyelids, and sagging mouth of someone at his wits' end. Cap stands confused behind him.

The Secret of My Success

hehheh