SwiftOnSecurity

As a child I read Flatland, written in the Victorian era, in which women are triangles with lethal points. They were prepared for this future.

Imagine telling a small victorian child that in 150 years there will be a pentagon that flies around the world and kills people

HOLY SHIT

America owns the octagon too!

Oh damn

America is so powerful we own the concept of a shape

You know what you never hear about other countries with buildings known on the entire planet just based on their number of angles.

America mogging everyone

staying actively engaged and working with me and our team even as it increasingly became clear this was not attributed to the correct area. I could leave the call to deal with personal stuff knowing it was in good hands. I appreciate his ownership of this - and by displaying a confident, competent face about helped move my coworkers in the right

Using your position as a senior employee or customer to recognize people, maybe helping them improve their own position, is its own reward. That is far, far more power to wield than any complaint.

During Covid our security department was asked to give input on employee screen monitoring software.

We said absolutely the hell not, hackers are just going to compromise it and dump it.

That was the end of that conversation.

As security leader, my best friends in corporate America have always been legal counsel. Of course, it doesn't make you any friends outside of legal counsel. They all hate both of us. All we do is prevent them from enshittifying faster.

Okay hear me put: We admit Puerto Rico as a state, and then just lie to Ohio about which star they are on the flag.

That's what my friend told me, who is a super obscure kind of furry

Being a super obscure kind of furry gives you immense credibility about cybersecurity to the public

There's a moment sometimes where you have to stifle your instinct to leap out of your chair and shake the guy who signs everyone's paychecks and instead just politely interrupt and say something like "I would recommend that we not do it exactly that way" as bloddlessly as possible.

❤️❤️❤️

I read this post to my husband, a retired Assistant GC at a federal agency, and he burst out laughing. Well done, Tay.

I mean it's definitely funny

I was a Chief Legal Officer for 16 years. Absolutely true, except in 2026 fewer cigarettes.

Funny enough, my most positive professional experiences as a class are with General Counsel.

Seems like the kinda job you just smoke a cigarette and rub your eyes saying "oh my God not this shit again" and "please repeat what you said they did," all day – forever.

Every answer to "okay, you were there, what actually happened" is a sigh and wistful gaze out the window as you ponder how many hours of your life this person is getting

First time having this happen, when actually possessing full confidential internal knowledge, is like a cognitive out-of-body experience.

You go back and you remember delicious shit you talked about all the companies and their staff before, and you realize.

Oh no – the universe does keep grudges.

pip install hoes

Hoes in Miami are old currency they're like doubloons to foreigners raised on 90s American movies.

Dawg some of these cyber influencers be out here sayin like pay $5k for my course and if you learn to type "hello world" you will slay every hoe in Miami, where you now live.

You're not left enough
> Republican

You're not right enough
> Tool of the Republicans

Luckily there's me, right in the center of Being Correct.

If you are a programmer who makes a DLL with no description in the PE header and then puts it in C: \Windows you are the lowest form of life on this planet We are talking anoxic oceanic vent bacteria here. You live in a pocket below them. Eat a rock

Damn I was mad

Oh wow that's a really cool use case.

I've just been on a circular firing squad joke spree today, but nothing actually happened I just think it's funny 🤷‍♀️

Wow

A friend said that Bluesky is just an echo chamber of hating Republicans, and I had to correct them that it's actually a network of liberals calling eachother Republicans.

Oh yeah I've had that happen before. I was in the room and people are just postin' silliness