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Ask a Manager

@askamanager.org

Creator of Ask a Manager – home to all your questions about lunch-stealing bosses, coworkers who won't stop hugging you, and how much you can drink at work.

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Posts 09.05.2023
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Latest posts by Ask a Manager @askamanager.org

open thread – March 6, 2026 It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – March 6, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.
06.03.2026 16:06 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
HR wants me to give someone a bad review they don’t deserve, conference attendee told me I looked “bored,” and more It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. HR wants me to give someone a bad review they don’t deserve, to cover up HR’s own mistake I am a manager for a small team of engineers. One of my direct reports was given a new role that was supposed to come with a […] The post HR wants me to give someone a bad review they don’t deserve, conference attendee told me I looked “bored,” and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
06.03.2026 05:09 👍 18 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
is my job bad enough that I should quit? A reder writes: Over the past few years, my responsibilities have grown well beyond my original job description. I now manage procurement end-to-end, track budgets, support multiple project managers, and draft reports. This expansion has happened informally — no title change, no pay adjustment, and no formal acknowledgement of the shift in scope. What’s making […] The post is my job bad enough that I should quit? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
05.03.2026 19:02 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
updates: the proselytizing tech, the gross coworker, and more Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. A medical tech repeatedly proselytized to me I had an appointment with my doctor this morning and told him that one of the techs had made me uncomfortable by repeatedly discussing her religious beliefs with me even after I directly asked that she not. I used the […] The post updates: the proselytizing tech, the gross coworker, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
05.03.2026 17:34 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
ask the readers: what do I need to know to successfully freelance? It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I work in a field that leans heavily towards freelance gig work these days, but I’ve been lucky enough to work in-house for a firm since making a career change into this industry six years ago. I’ve done a bit of freelance on the side […] The post ask the readers: what do I need to know to successfully freelance? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
05.03.2026 16:01 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I’ve run out of a patience with a rude coworker, “I forgive you” in a professional situation, and more It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’ve run out of a patience with a rude coworker I’ve run out of patience with a difficult coworker, Mary. I’m one of the few people who has to deal with Mary in person, and my work is closely tied with hers. She’s entry-level while […] The post I’ve run out of a patience with a rude coworker, “I forgive you” in a professional situation, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
05.03.2026 05:10 👍 21 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Can you please do song versions of all my columns in the future!

04.03.2026 21:21 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
how do we push back as a group when we’re all remote? A reader writes: My fully remote company just announced that our mandatory, weekly, hour-long, all-staff Zoom meeting will now be required to be camera on and mic on for all 60+ attendees. It seems like they’re trying to recreate the feeling of us all being in person. However, to me, and to I imagine a […] The post how do we push back as a group when we’re all remote? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
04.03.2026 19:25 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
you can’t go no-contact with someone you share a printer with Breakups are miserable under the best of circumstances. But when the person you’re breaking up with is also a coworker, welcome to a new layer of hell: instead of getting distance, you still have to see each other every day, smile politely in meetings, and pretend nothing is wrong while coexisting professionally in an office […] The post you can’t go no-contact with someone you share a printer with appeared first on Ask a Manager.
04.03.2026 17:34 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
employee is an emotional rollercoaster and her coworker can’t take it A reader writes: I’m a manager of a four-person team, on which I was previously an individual contributor. The four team members work in cubes in an open office area and my office is down a nearby hall. We’re a casual office, and the team generally gets along well. While each person has their own […] The post employee is an emotional rollercoaster and her coworker can’t take it appeared first on Ask a Manager.
04.03.2026 16:04 👍 17 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
can we refuse a client appointment, getting answers from unresponsive vendors, and more It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can we refuse a massage appointment for a sex offender? I am a front desk coordinator in a clinic that is part of a large healthcare system. I schedule appointments and assist patients who come in to see providers of various departments, including massage therapy. […] The post can we refuse a client appointment, getting answers from unresponsive vendors, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
04.03.2026 05:06 👍 13 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0
how should we handle birthdays at work? A reader writes: My workplace occasionally recognizes staff birthdays, but isn’t consistent. Sometimes there’s cake, sometimes bagels, sometimes nothing, and it’s often a last-minute announcement which can be frustrating to people who already have food planned out for the day. Someone brought up the idea of bringing back a past practice: the monthly celebration of […] The post how should we handle birthdays at work? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
03.03.2026 19:03 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
my coworker gives me rush projects, then disappears A reader writes: My workload is mostly comprised of overflow tasks from other departments. I generally like this because it gives me a variety of things to do. I regularly deal with four managers. Three of them are good to work with. One, Alex, is … not. While the others always do a capacity check-in […] The post my coworker gives me rush projects, then disappears appeared first on Ask a Manager.
03.03.2026 17:33 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
my coworker won’t stop interfering with my service dog A reader writes: I work in a cubicle office and bring a trained, medically necessary service dog named “Betty” to the office with me. I allow her to socialize with coworkers on breaks, and she is very loved in the office for how friendly and adorable she is. She also adores her coworkers and thinks […] The post my coworker won’t stop interfering with my service dog appeared first on Ask a Manager.
03.03.2026 16:03 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
job application asked about age and caregiving, salad bar drama, and more It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Job application asked about age and caregiving responsibilities After hundreds of job applications in my career, this is a new one for me. I came across a required question on the application asking, “Do you have caregiving responsibilities such as childcare, eldercare, or disability care?” […] The post job application asked about age and caregiving, salad bar drama, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
03.03.2026 05:09 👍 17 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1
my boss asked me to join a work call on my day off … then stood me up A reader writes: I have a weird, complicated relationship with my boss, Amelia, who is part of the C-suite. We have very different working styles. We are both from the same Latin American country but both of us live and work in the U.S. Last week, she asked me to join a call with her […] The post my boss asked me to join a work call on my day off … then stood me up appeared first on Ask a Manager.
02.03.2026 19:02 👍 14 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I’m afraid my star employee is going to quit A reader writes: I was recently promoted to a director role, and one of my direct reports is my former boss who hired me into the company, “Tom.” Tom was a great boss in the eight years I worked for him. He’s an all-around terrific manager who coaches well, provides clear goals, gives flexibility to […] The post I’m afraid my star employee is going to quit appeared first on Ask a Manager.
02.03.2026 17:32 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
my bad employee showed a ton of initiative in a personal situation — can I use that to explain what I need from him at work? A reader writes: I have a new employee, Joe, who has been with me about six months. The headline is that he’s pretty terrible. He lacks knowledge, his work is slow and often wrong, he lacks attention to detail, shows no sense of urgency, ownership or understanding of priority, and requires constant hand-holding to even […] The post my bad employee showed a ton of initiative in a personal situation — can I use that to explain what I need from him at work? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
02.03.2026 16:02 👍 13 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
is it OK to compliment coworkers’ nails or haircuts, saying I’m leaving my job due to its rigid culture, and more It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it OK to compliment coworkers’ nails or haircuts? I believe that comments on people’s bodies are totally inappropriate at work, and in life in general. But if someone has changed their hair or has some cute nails (I myself do not do these cute […] The post is it OK to compliment coworkers’ nails or haircuts, saying I’m leaving my job due to its rigid culture, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
02.03.2026 05:09 👍 12 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Preview
weekend open thread – February 28-March 1, 2026 This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Uncoupling, by Meg Wolitzer. After the local high school performs Aristophanes’ play Lysistrata, in which women decide to deny men sex in order […] The post weekend open thread – February 28-March 1, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.
28.02.2026 00:09 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
open thread – February 27, 2026 It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – February 27, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.
27.02.2026 16:03 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
intern won’t stop giving unsolicited “corrections,” I have bad breath and have to meet with clients, and more It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Intern won’t stop giving unsolicited “corrections” We’ve been dealing with a troublesome intern. He keeps giving senior members of the staff unsolicited advice, corrections, and “tips” about everything from life lessons to ways for everyone to do their work. He’s been told many times that […] The post intern won’t stop giving unsolicited “corrections,” I have bad breath and have to meet with clients, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
27.02.2026 05:10 👍 16 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
can I ask for a cost-of-living raise after I chose to move to a more expensive city? A reader writes: I’m a 32-year-old professional on a niche team for a large corporation and have been in my role for four years. When I was interviewing, I was living in City A, a low-cost-of-living city that I really disliked. When I took my current job, they were clear that they allow my role […] The post can I ask for a cost-of-living raise after I chose to move to a more expensive city? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
26.02.2026 19:02 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
our employee is criticizing our sponsors on social media A reader writes: I oversee a public-facing department at a nonprofit. One of our long-time program managers is an oversharer. This includes on social media, where she has in the recent past criticized two of our sponsors in long Facebook posts, which included phrases like “Corporation X needs to get their crap together.” These were […] The post our employee is criticizing our sponsors on social media appeared first on Ask a Manager.
26.02.2026 17:37 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
let’s discuss throwback bosses: managers with outdated work expectations In the comments on a recent post, someone mentioned that a boss once sent them home because they’d forgotten to wear a belt that day (“I wasn’t showing butt cleavage, but he wasn’t having it.”) Someone else mentioned a boss who expected people to rise whenever he entered the office (?!). Let’s discuss managers and […] The post let’s discuss throwback bosses: managers with outdated work expectations appeared first on Ask a Manager.
26.02.2026 16:02 👍 13 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 2
I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok, expecting candidates to relocate in a week, and more It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok I was just scrolling TikTok, and a video from “someone you may know” popped up. It is a coworker of mine, whose number is in my phone because we sit near each other and sometimes need to […] The post I saw my coworker’s pregnancy announcement on TikTok, expecting candidates to relocate in a week, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
26.02.2026 05:10 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Post image

This is how he sits in a chair

26.02.2026 02:50 👍 137 🔁 2 💬 5 📌 0
is it petty to hold small details against internal candidates? A reader writes: I’m hiring for some new roles in my team and this has generated some excitement from internal folks looking to grow in their careers. That’s great! I’m always happy to meet with internal people before they submit resumes/go through the formal interview process, it’s very much a part of our team culture. […] The post is it petty to hold small details against internal candidates? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
25.02.2026 19:07 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
why are so many unqualified candidates applying for the job we advertised? A reader writes: I am about to make my first hire. We posted the job a couple of days ago. The job is semi-specialized work with specific qualifications. The job description clearly says cover letter and resume. Of the many applications I’ve received, one, maybe two, indicate that they’ve read the application before applying. The […] The post why are so many unqualified candidates applying for the job we advertised? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
25.02.2026 17:37 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
my obsessive, volatile coworker is demanding mediation with me A reader writes: A new grad (“Eva”) joined our team about six months ago. She had previously interned with us and had really impressed us with her knowledge, efficiency, and proactive approach. As a seasoned member of the team, I went out of my way to be kind, helpful, and patient with Eva as she […] The post my obsessive, volatile coworker is demanding mediation with me appeared first on Ask a Manager.
25.02.2026 16:03 👍 14 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0