Hear me out: a cake you jump into.
03.03.2026 21:25
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me: if i had kids, iโd be such a helicopter mom
you: you DO have kids
me: WHAT
04.03.2026 15:15
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MAKE THE PLANES OUT OF GINGER ALE
03.03.2026 13:09
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Sent a terse email last night - now I can't look at my inbox for the rest of the week.
03.03.2026 13:07
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U.S. Troops Were Told Iran War Is for โArmageddon,โ Return of Jesus
Advocacy group reports commanders giving similar messages at more than 30 installations in every branch of the military
EXCLUSIVE: At more than 30 installations, U.S. commanders told troops the war on Iran is a Christian war.
The Military Religious Freedom Foundation has been โinundatedโ with more than 110 complaints.
One NCO said they were told the U.S. war is to bring about Armageddon and the return of Jesusโฆ
03.03.2026 01:54
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Hi. Iโm Bleep Bloop and Iโm hosting SNL with musical guest Wocka Wocka.
01.03.2026 03:35
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Men will start a war in the Middle East instead of going to Hell.
28.02.2026 23:08
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Men will start a war in the Middle East instead of going to Hell.
28.02.2026 23:08
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I want a girlfriend who knows how to steal catalytic converters but has a good enough job that she doesnโt have to
27.02.2026 06:00
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YES. Take a shit on/in their futures. They are the KKK.
26.02.2026 18:16
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Bella the Pitt-mix in her trans pride collar
๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
26.02.2026 17:24
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Theyโll say it was AI
26.02.2026 01:45
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Tonight would be pretty amazing too.
25.02.2026 01:09
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๐
25.02.2026 01:07
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they can pump cocaine into trump, but that only enhances his wetness. combine that with his advanced mortality syndrome, he's going to be bursting at the seams anyway, springing leaks everywhere. if he rounds hour two and heads for third, he's gonna pop like a jellyfish like the senator from x-men
24.02.2026 22:26
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State of The Union at Sundown OโClock!
What could go wrong?
24.02.2026 23:11
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digital art. crying cat standing in grass in front of a nuclear power plant. there are trees in front of the power plant
cat
24.02.2026 20:32
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Youโd think that always being right would be enjoyable.
24.02.2026 19:07
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[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow
24.02.2026 17:49
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screenshot of a tv user guide, showing two channels under Tue 8PM:
MSNOW - State of the union
TCM East- Gaslight
Masterful Troll, TCM.
24.02.2026 15:19
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On my signal unleash shenanigans
21.02.2026 14:21
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7up is short for upupupupupupup
21.02.2026 16:44
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Dr. Seuss struggling not to rhyme as he delivers his dadโs eulogy
21.02.2026 18:52
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it's taking forever
20.02.2026 21:47
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a movie about the invention of gift baskets called When Harry Met David somebody write that down
20.02.2026 16:05
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Gonna be a little bitch until I get my tasks done.
03.12.2024 19:25
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Ilia Malinin reacts (sadly) after competing on day seven of the Milan Cortina 2026 Winter Olympic games at Milano Ice Skating Arena on Friday, February 13.
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE: Hey, New Jersey! Hereโs another winter storm warning! ๐โ๏ธโ๏ธ
ME:
20.02.2026 19:56
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What idiot called it a catheter instead of automatic for the peehole
16.02.2026 19:04
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