William McKinnerney

Heyo #WordPress friends, we’re here 👉 @wpengine.bsky.social

If you don't realize that nothing hits harder than a glass of cool, crisp water, then you haven't found the right water yet

Cop: you're going to prison for forgery

Me *slides him a 37 dollar bill* what about now

“Create an account?” Hell YES, I don’t have enough of those! 👍

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we live in hell part 1000: my high school friend's mom died so I sent flowers for the funeral and now the obituary website is emailing me about their AI obituary tool

bsky.app/profile/numb... seems your wish was granted

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

For those going home to visit family this weekend:

• Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus
• LG calls it TruMotion
• Sony calls it Motionflow
• Roku calls it Action Smoothing
• Google TV calls it Motion Enhancement
• Vizio calls it Smooth Motion Effect.

the creation of the spicy italian sandwich is the closest humanity has gotten to touching god

hey. dont let the haters pull the tip of your penis & then let go to see the cartoonish sound it makes. you got this.

I also think the closure of liberal arts schools and the constant attacks on wide-ranging humanist educations are part of a push against the masses being taught critical thinking.

Which sounds conspiratorial, but come on, this is getting real blatant.

got into a huge fight with my friend over not using alt text on images and, well, i’ll spare you the graphic details

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does

That's why I think of running everyday

ok it all worked out in the end

Capitalism breeds innovation

this app's cooked paul

mmmm tastee

meme of two lobsters fighting while three college kids excitedly throw money to bet on it everyone - the fighting lobsters and the depraved kids cheering them on - is labeled 'leftists'

people just showing up to bluesky: there's not enough political conflict here

bluesky, for the entire first year and a half of its existence:

Still thinking about that one jellyfish that only has a butthole when it wants to.

Hi friends!

I just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet.

The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you're not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well.

This brings another Desert Bus to a close.
We had some amazing times, we made some incredible memories and we raised $1.25 Million for the children.
For Hope.
Orbspeed. Good Night. Good Luck.
See you next year.