Banned Library

The Drive-In Will Never Die
#MutantFam #TheLastDriveIn

The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine." — Banned Library The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine."

The library newsletter is available wherever websites are available.

The library once again points to the "Duh" section of the collection, formerly known as the history section.

a man in a blue shirt with a giant monster logo on his chest Alt: a man in a blue shirt with a giant monster logo on his chest

Head of Paramount today

The new Grand American experiment:
What if we put the worst people in charge of everything?
See: Romans

Can You Get Banned from NextDoor?

In this twelve part series, I will use every absurd and satirical bone in my body to mock the "frightened" rich people of my neighborhood.

Let's see how they react.

The degree: masters in library and information science, able to support and sort any information collection on the planet.

The job: getting yelled at by people who forget their passwords, parents who don't want to watch their children, and printer maintenance.

The library will no longer allow service alligators. — Banned Library Thoughts and happenings from around the library from February 2026

The library will no longer allow service alligators.

The library free play table is for unity and kindness.
No adult Warhammer allowed.

The library will never judge you except those of you who cut your pizza with scissors.
Shit, just no.

Can't wait for the AI-made movie about a John Henry type office worker trying to send emails faster than Copilot.

The library will be hosting a screening of "Humphrey Bogart's Colonoscopy," a new film by local boy F. O. Fuller this Saturday, Feb. 21 at 5pm.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

YOU CAN GET EVERY DISCWORLD TOME ON EBOOK FOR LESS THAN THE COST OF A SUBWAY FOOTLONG COMBO.

USUALLY GETTING EVERY SINGLE BOOK LEGALLY IS LIKE 400+

NOT.

A.

DRILL.

www.humblebundle.com/books/terry-...

The pot calling the kettle a pot.

The large crates that just arrived at the back of the library are for library science purposes. Ignore the man yelling "Shoot her!" and all the screams.

The library phone is for emergencies or really cool prank calls only. — Banned Library Missives from the library

The library has a set of announcements it would like to make:

Luke in the Library — Banned Library Every library where I have worked has Luke Skywalker as a patron. Luke was set up in my first week at each institution. He's checked out display materials, put book club books on hold, and reserved sp...

Luke in the Library

Are you a library printer?
Cause I'm about to scream and pound your buttons.
#libraryvalentines

Nah, we want at least enthusiastic participation over ability. Not here to shame but to give opportunity.

The library is gonna start a true American Olympics.
We're gonna pull a list of Americans at random and call them until we have enough to agree to participate in all the games.

Crime 101 made me want to watch a Michael Mann film, and I had fun with it.

Wuthering Heights is gorgeous and a high school level reading of the text with obsession masquerading as love. Almost a satire of itself. It's fun to watch, but it ain't good.

a man says " it sounds like there 's a story here " ALT: a man says " it sounds like there 's a story here "

The library hopes that all creeks flow into one. You done good, Dawson. You didn't have your daddy's life. You truly lived on the Murder Train.
GNU James Van Der Beek.

If the library sees a snarky AI bot talking shit about administration and entitled patrons, we're suing some shit.
Can't take our place, robits! That's our lane.

Shelter (2026) from "Who is this guy?" — Banned Library A staple of the action genre is the "who is this guy" plot. A bunch of ne'er do wells go about their crimes, but catches the attention of a hidden badass living amongst the goodasses. As their best fo...

The library saw Shelter and really wants a "who is this guy" scenario to happen in real life.
Across the street.

I like watching fire — Banned Library I like watching fire. There's a comfort to the leaping flames. The sound of crystalline crackles of destruction as wood combusts feels like home to me. It's been that way since I learned to make it.

The library made a fire and relaxed somewhat.

We apologize if this recontextualizes some of your world views. Talk to your parents.
If there was a paper fairy, you bet Coca-Cola would try and co-opt and market that sumbitch. Or some church, to be honest.

The library wants to remind you that there is no "Paper Fairy" that comes and refills the printers each night.

Although if you left out bourbon and cookies, they would be gone in the morning.

The library is getting ready for potato cannon season.

I Come in Peace (1990) to the Library — Banned Library The librarian stops Penny Man from doing coke in the library and talks about the movie I Come in Peace

The library hopes you leave in pieces, asshole.

This Greenland shit is so stupid.
Somebody in the rubble is going to find this all started because a White House intern was really into Plague Inc.