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Albert Pujols in manager glasses

Nothing has hammered home that I’m in my mid-to-late 30s quite like seeing Manager Glasses Albert Pujols.

Once Mexico goes up a run, the rest of the game goes like the second game of the Mets/Braves doubleheader at the end of the 2024 season except this game inexplicably won’t involve Joey Lucchesi.

100 percent

TV host running the US into the ground is our thing though

this game proves that you need a real manager like Dave Roberts for Team USA because he has the kind of experience that allows him to know exactly when to put in Clayton Kershaw to make a loss even funnier

A keen observer notes on Bluesky that, in the procession off the field, carrying Arozarena like a fallen hero, the Italian catcher could be seen checking on him. And Randy shook his hand. But that skeet goes unnoticed amid the sea of sturm und drang on the timeline.

FIN

Now, Randy is okay, and goes on to play in the next round. But he refuses to answer any questions about what is being called “The Trip”.

The postgame shows are in shock, with talking heads alternating between laughter, anger, and absolute dumbfounded silence.

Someone explains to Trump that something bad happened and it’s Mexico’s fault, and he takes to Truth Social, calling for an investigation and tariffs for a “RIGGED” match.

Absolute bedlam ensues. The umpires meet in a group, shouting. Somehow Mark DeRosa spawns and starts spitting and shouting in the face of the home plate umpire, who shouts back, gestures toward home plate. Fights erupt in the stands.

Once he makes it down the tunnel, the home plate umpire signals out. He never touched home. Mexico wins 4-1. The US is eliminated by the narrowest of margins.

The cheers in the stands slowly ebb, and are replaced with a pensive silence.

He gives a thumbs up and waves. They carry him into the locker room, with the solemnity of a mass.

As Randy trots around third, a stumble. He rolls toward the dugout. Not in the agonizing painful way that one sometimes sees when a hamstring blows out, or an ankle gets twisted. He’s… somersaulting. And then he’s still.

There’s confusion, a scramble. The trainers check on him.

Cheers erupt in the stadium as the American fans slowly realize (or have explained to them) that this means Team USA has made it out of pool play. It’s a miracle, from an unlikely savior.

The Italians are devastated.

It looks like a ball out of hand. Randy swings at it, and inexplicably makes solid contact with a ball two feet above the zone. Defying physics and sense, the ball looks like it’s headed for the Crawford boxes.

It’s a home run! Mexico wins 6-2! The dugout empties!

WBC story

Bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, runners on first and third. Randy Arozarena is at the plate. Mexico leads 2-1 over Italy. The count is 3-2. It is deadly silent in the park. Somewhere, the members of Team USA, sporting their bacon jerseys, are watching to see if they are good and truly cooked.

Coming out for the 9th inning for Team Italy to finish off Team America is...Holy crap, it's Luigi Mangione

Damn, I missed the game due to work. But cool to see World Baseball Classic and Italy vs USA be the #1 and #2 trending topics.

Incredible. Congrats Team Italia. Baseball humbles all, and sometimes especially those who need it the most.

Janet Mills' "Issues" page, which is blank, and not navigable to from the website menu bar.

It's been 147 days since Janet Mills launched her campaign for Senate in Maine.

The Chuck Schumer-recruit's "Issues" page is hidden from the website menu bar. You can only find it by typing in the URL.

And even if you find it, there's no info on the page. Just a donate button.

#BREAKING Yard Goats unveil the "Anti-Hero" a grilled 2-foot all beef hot dog with 11 powdered donuts, a mustard-ketchup drizzle & sweet candied pink & blue sprinkles... all on an artisan Italian loaf bun. Like a friendship bracelet, but yummy. Only available on Era's Night 6/9.

I had a relative who started giving people ball point pens when her dementia got really bad, don't know what made me think of that just now

body so tea we have to call it coffee cause tea's not strong enough

Had to doublecheck the date on this

my notifications these days are basically a buffet of "here is 1000 word thread of detailed nuanced geopolitical analysis" and "check out this rock that looks like a cock"

Chinese Taipei vs Korea WBC game 😮

At Largest ICE Detention Camp, Staff Bet on Detainee Suicides, AP Reports Camp East Montana has received several 911 calls in the span of five months about immigrants trying to harm themselves.

Staff at the nation’s largest Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention facility have placed bets on which detainee will be the next to die by suicide, according to new reporting from the Associated Press based on 911 calls and detainee accounts.

Iran’s people were facing a horrible shortage of water before the war began. If we are destroying desalination plants and setting fire to Teheran we are committing unfathomable crimes.

This is literally cooler than anything I've seen in any baseball movie

"Who gives a shit about foreign countries targeting American soldiers in the reckless war we started?" is just a hell of a take for a White House press secretary