cult papa

LOVE ME. LOVE ME. STOP LOOKING AT ME. DONT LOOK AT ME. I HATE THAT YOU CAN SEE ME. LOOK AT ME. LOVE ME. LOVE ME MORE. STOP THAT. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. LOVE ME.

as the oldest brother of 7 kids streaming me playing games makes a lot more sense as i think about it. i’ve always had an audience 🥰

dutch ovening myself in the car because it’s too cold. i need to be put out to pasture. the rot inside me is all consuming.

they should invent a slack notification that doesn’t make me put my head through a wall

orbitz drink, a relic of the 90s

the people long for the gentle balls in their mouth of an orbitz

spongebob gross out face

logging on

what do you mean you don’t like <CONTENT CREATOR I WATCH IN MY LEISURE TIME>?? DONT YOU KNOW THIS MEANS YOU HATE ME PERSONALLY?

tall animated character with red glowing eye looking down at a bald animated man and a buff luscious brock samson text reads “ignore me”

logging off

suffice to say she wasn’t “thrilled” with my choice of delivery

a few weeks ago i asked my mom to pick out an urn so i could share some of my grandmas ashes that i’ve had since she died. which sounds nice until you know *how* i actually said it.

“you should pick out an urn if you want me to pour you some grandma”

not to be a geologist on main but what the FUCK is a rock

picture of young son goku staring wide eyed into the distance

4 years old and gaining sentience in the middle of getting yelled

“stop perceiving me!” he shouts from the perception panopticon

primary your local ineffectual status quo politicians. the status done quo’ed enough for a lifetime. get these dorks out of here

it’s my favorite marker for a great post. the amount of blue wave accounts that block me for shitposting.

just got a block notification after this one. true turdburglers would never

dumpers in chat for another massive drop.

hey turdburglers it's me your boy, back at it again with the six shitter challenge. that's right we're trying NOT to shit our pants 6 times in 6 hours. so far it's 11am, we're 2 minutes in and we're already 4 pairs of MEUNDIES BRAND UNDERWEAR down. shoutout meundies for sponsoring us today. let's hope the next 5 hours and 58 minutes goe——5 pairs boys. this might be another L

resident evil 8 marketing: BIG MOMMY. AWOOGA UPPIES MOMMY. LARGE WOMAN YES YES.

resident evil 9 marketing: sup whores and or sluts, daddy’s back on the menu 🫦

funko pops will never beanie baby on me

it may be the delirium talking

the world may be on fire, but your tears won’t put it out. try a gun though

- some guy with a gun boner that no one asked

fart wars? i think not mister lukeass. i prefer my farts trekked, thank you mister rod and berries

The DJ 3000 from the Simpsons WELL, HOT DOG OWE HAVE A "WIENER."

He’s like this but for military cliches

“stop perceiving me!” he shouts from the perception panopticon

it’s best not to question riker’s programs. it’s a long 5 year trip in cold space

Picard: "Doctor Crusher, status report."

Doctor Crusher: "It's Wesley, Captain, he's down bad"

Picard: "Damnit Wes, I warned you not to use the anime cat girl holodeck program. Lieutenant LaForge, eject Wes from the holodeck"

LaForge: "Sir I think he's ejecting all on his own"

Data: "Gross"

yes hegseth is an incompetent bloodthirsty drunk, but he’s also annoying and having to hear from him even more is going to make me catatonic

one lesser discussed downside to war is having to see and hear peter hogsled every day

at 10k i’ll travel to skips house and kick him in the dick