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Five Minute Macro

@fiveminutemacro

Macro trader. I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused.

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Latest posts by Five Minute Macro @fiveminutemacro

Buying dips sinks ships.

06.03.2026 14:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

In fairness, doesn't specify which side he's referring to.

06.03.2026 14:26 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Since forever, we've all tacitly agreed to attach outsize importance to the NFP report, like the drunk searching for their car keys under the lamppost - cos that's where the light is.

But, with the evisceration, demoralisation and politicisation of the BLS, I'm no longer inclined to play this game.

06.03.2026 14:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

As per usual: our President, your problem. US manufacturing may be in decline, but they still know how to export clusterf***s

06.03.2026 14:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Oh, you sweet summer child...

06.03.2026 14:12 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Thinking of this Khatami interview, for reasons.

05.03.2026 18:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Brave to assume they have girlfriends.

05.03.2026 18:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It would stink even if it was arms-length given the nascent boom of an immature asset class, never mind that they're trading with themselves, which naturally kicks it into the next dimension of dodginess.

05.03.2026 15:41 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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This is going to become a yuge story, and probably a massive scandal at some point in the not too distant future, via a murky nexus of self-dealing, lightly regulated offshore subsidiaries and Joe Sixpack inadvertently holding the other side of the trade.

05.03.2026 15:34 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

A proper private credit crackup would solve one of the conundrums of modern financial markets. Virtually everyone predicted that a sharp hiking cycle after an extended period of exceptionally low rates would cause carnage - and then it never happened and we all just segued to the next talking point

05.03.2026 09:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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With news that US military commanders are referencing the end times, I guess we're doing this again.

04.03.2026 10:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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Pervy, baby!

04.03.2026 10:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Il Sorpasso 2.0

04.03.2026 09:26 ๐Ÿ‘ 11 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

cc @nytpitchbot.bsky.social

03.03.2026 12:51 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

An interlocutor once asserted to Adam Smith: "If we go on at this rate, the nation must be ruined!"

Smith famously replied "Be assured...that there is a great deal of ruin in a nation". Very wise words. But thanks to Trump, we might finally get to answer the question: how much ruin, exactly?

03.03.2026 11:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

'Good catch; you're right. This deal looks opportunistic and sloppy...'

03.03.2026 07:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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The Middle East - famously a geopolitics-free zone.

02.03.2026 15:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 333 ๐Ÿ” 69 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 11 ๐Ÿ“Œ 26

There are so many deranged AI takes to go round; it's beyond hilarious to me that knocking a few turns off software stocks has been the catalyst for the greatest blowback.
bsky.app/profile/five...

25.02.2026 05:28 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

'AI will replace all white collar work'

Investors: 'YES, YES!!!!'

'AI will solve all outstanding scientific problems and propel us to the stars'

Investors: 'Ooooohh, aaaahhh!!'

'AI will disrupt B2B SAAS'

Investors: 'Well, this is just fantastical nonsense. Is everyone stupid now?!'

23.02.2026 19:39 ๐Ÿ‘ 80 ๐Ÿ” 24 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 3

It's what plants crave.

19.02.2026 17:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

A CEO saying 'we only have green flags' is of course, a glaringly large red flag.

19.02.2026 14:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 31 ๐Ÿ” 6 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 3 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I've just heard Michael Saylor speak for the first time (my first time, not his, presumably), and, geez, I feel like the minimum requirements for stock market charlatans used to be be confident patter and charisma. Tis new age of fraud is, at the very least, extremely weird.

13.02.2026 11:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 32 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Maybe 'high-profile deportations' can become the new 'Ugandan discussions'.

13.02.2026 10:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Chart-crime by committee!

12.02.2026 14:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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They've somehow made it even worse.

12.02.2026 14:52 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Hard to have to defend Sir Jim, but he has more experience than most of foreigners coming over here, refusing to integrate and living high on the hog.

12.02.2026 14:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Sam Altman was right - this unironically is PhD-level intelligence

12.02.2026 09:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 414 ๐Ÿ” 105 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 17 ๐Ÿ“Œ 13

One baleful effect of the Liz Truss cameo is that the UK is now being run on the back of every bump and jostle in the bond market. The highest virtue is now stasis. Hardly needs saying that this is absolutely no way to run a country.

09.02.2026 15:04 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Preview
US embassy in London denies visas to executives over minor offences Immigration lawyers say top-level corporate figures and tech leaders among those barred from visiting America

Sorry, lads; it's now major offences only or GTFO.

www.ft.com/content/a38d...

09.02.2026 08:54 ๐Ÿ‘ 13 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Not a doubt in my mind. Shakespearian, to be forced to murder the only friend you ever had.

08.02.2026 21:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0