Widdershins Smith 🐘's Avatar

Widdershins Smith 🐘

@msmith3

Unfluencer. Opinionated. #Engineer #Geek #Plymouth We are all Homo Sapiens. #Antitheist. 99% of my jokes are recycled. So are yours. Jokes cannot be stolen nor plagiarised if not passed off as one's own. It's how jokes work. https://linktr.ee/juglugs

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Latest posts by Widdershins Smith 🐘 @msmith3

Whenever I hold a large seashell up to my ear I can hear my grandma making fun of my dot matrix printer

06.03.2026 21:32 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Coffee, straight out of my nose.

06.03.2026 19:28 πŸ‘ 8464 πŸ” 1582 πŸ’¬ 253 πŸ“Œ 142

Oil up by $12 a barrel in less than 12 hours.

Gas prices skyrocketing.

Almost 100,000 jobs lost last month.

Another war in the Middle East.

Are we great again yet?

06.03.2026 19:21 πŸ‘ 9632 πŸ” 2704 πŸ’¬ 533 πŸ“Œ 116

I left my cat unsupervised for one afternoon and she trained the dogs to carry her around on a palanquin

06.03.2026 20:21 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

My granny never knew how to suck eggs

06.03.2026 11:43 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"And they said, β€˜Well, you know, we’ve got the Pyrenees between us and Russia.’ Well, the U.S. has the Atlantic Ocean, and we are the largest contributor to NATO,” Bessent said on CNBC’s β€œSquawk Box.”

The US has the Bering Strait between it and Russia...My God, these people are stupid

04.03.2026 22:05 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I think a short podcast series called "How not to watch GB News" would be a hit!

04.03.2026 21:57 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I don't think I want to know which role you'd play...

04.03.2026 21:56 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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Release the Epstein Files

04.03.2026 21:22 πŸ‘ 8331 πŸ” 2526 πŸ’¬ 186 πŸ“Œ 74

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ–πŸ½οΈ

04.03.2026 21:55 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Sadly, that already exists, and there was a big thing about it in Germany a few years back. Cannabalism was involved...

(So, I guess it was actually a dinner date)

04.03.2026 21:51 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Now that Spring has sprung, it's important to know the difference between jonquils and daffodils because being right is better than being wrong.

04.03.2026 21:49 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Mine died in October but she's still causing me problems.
I'd hoped I would be able to forget she'd existed by now...

04.03.2026 21:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Now, now - I resemble that remark

04.03.2026 21:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I can't do that. I have a beard. It takes weeks to get it all out

04.03.2026 21:42 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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03.03.2026 22:42 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Ooooo, I've found a new member of my Top 5...

03.03.2026 18:59 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Draft Kai!

02.03.2026 21:02 πŸ‘ 471 πŸ” 68 πŸ’¬ 12 πŸ“Œ 2
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Heated Exchange between Hillary Clinton and Nancy Mace

02.03.2026 21:26 πŸ‘ 4852 πŸ” 1175 πŸ’¬ 716 πŸ“Œ 172
Preview
Brewdog: Bars close and hundreds lose jobs as beer firm sold in Β£33m deal - BBC News Beverage and cannabis company Tilray acquires the Aberdeenshire brewery, the brand and 11 bars for Β£33m.

As an OG investor in Brewdog, I was disgusted with the direction that James Watt took the company in. He tried to be Musk. I've lost my money, but I'm not sorry it's gone under...

BBC News - Bars close and hundreds lose jobs as US firm buys Brewdog in Β£33m deal
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

02.03.2026 17:52 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

It's the difference between:

Helping your uncle, Jack, off his horse

and

Helping your uncle jack off his horse

02.03.2026 06:38 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's probably those last three words...

01.03.2026 21:23 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Indeed…. πŸ”₯

01.03.2026 18:18 πŸ‘ 16 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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"They died to save her face"

From the Private Eye archive.
Issue 550, January 1983, some months after the Falklands war.

01.03.2026 19:34 πŸ‘ 681 πŸ” 186 πŸ’¬ 20 πŸ“Œ 1

#OperationEpsteinFury was always about distraction.
As with everythign else Trump has ever said, it was projection of self when he said things about Obama.
Trump is the most evil dictator of our times.
He wants to go down in history as being more evil than Hitler.

01.03.2026 08:13 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I guess if you've never read histor...

Scratch that.

I guess if you've never read, then you don't know what's happened before...

01.03.2026 08:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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This πŸ‘‡

28.02.2026 19:26 πŸ‘ 55 πŸ” 11 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 1

I find it odd that Trump has attacked a primary school for girls.

Not because it's not a militarily important target, but because primary school aged girls are his preyground

#OperationEpsteinFury
#OperationEpicFury
#Iran #Israel #Trump

28.02.2026 16:56 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Trump’s 2026 Nobel Peace Prize campaign is off to a rocky start.

28.02.2026 16:13 πŸ‘ 1966 πŸ” 312 πŸ’¬ 92 πŸ“Œ 7

4/

28.02.2026 16:12 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 7 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0