Linux Fortunes

We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.
-- La Rochefoucauld


[people/1084]

<Joey> gorgo: *lol*
<gorgo> joey: what's so funny? :)
<Culus> shh, joey is losing all sanity from lack of sleep
<Culus> 'yes joey, very funny'
<Culus> Humor him :>
-- Seen on #Debian


[debian/62]

Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.


[fortunes/203]

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.


[drugs/178]

It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.


[fortunes/127]

To err is human,
To purr feline.
-- Robert Byrne


[pets/46]

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"


[literature/108]

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.


[wisdom/46]

Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.


[pets/36]

The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.
-- C. Schulz


[pets/43]

The less time planning, the more time programming.


[computers/745]

Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.


[food/12]

<SomeLamer> what's the difference between chattr and chmod?
<SomeGuru> SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less
-- Seen on #linux on irc


[linux/171]

... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you
have turned into a pile of dust.


[computers/5]

The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from
the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called
cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
-- Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch"


[pratchett/1]

semper en excretus


[translate-me/8]

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which
it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.
-- James Boswell


[politics/570]

Alex Buell:
Or how about a Penguin logo painted in really really trippy
colours, and emblazoned with the word LSD. :o)

Geert Uytterhoeven:
We already had that one, but unfortunately Russell King fixed that nasty
palette bug in drivers/video/fbcon.c :-)
-- linux-kernel


[linux/305]

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
-- Sam Brown, "The Washington Post", January 26, 1977


[news/32]

FLASH!
Intelligence of mankind decreasing.
Details at ... uh, when the little hand is on the ....


[news/18]

He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid
ornamental armour. It was gilt by association.
-- Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch"


[pratchett/0]

THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM

If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your
contribution of a pithy fortunes, clean or obscene? We cannot continue
without your support. Less than 14

[goedel/45]

You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.


[fortunes/365]

Houdini escaping from New Jersey!

Film at eleven.


[ethnic/43]

We do not colonize. We conquer. We rule. There is no other way for us.
-- Rojan, "By Any Other Name", stardate 4657.5


[startrek/189]

Due to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been discontinued.


[computers/246]

<|ryan|> I don't use deb
<netgod> u poor man
<Disconnect> netgod: heh
<Kingsqueak> apt-get install task-p0rn


[debian/60]

Smoking is the leading cause of statistics.


[paradoxum/27]

I smell a wumpus.


[miscellaneous/217]

Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?


[drugs/193]