Sooz

Ugh. Yes. Brilliantly put.

I keep waiting for resilience to feel impressive.

❤️❤️❤️

If I was going to make it through it all, the goal was always to at least be a real person.

I’ve had a lot of time to think and boy if that just isn’t about the worst fucking hobby

To crash and burn sounds like a waste of perfectly good empty calories.

I was my tv’s favorite kid growing up.

Doctor: so let me get this straight you’re asking…

Me: YAS! Can I poop out the bad feelings too? Do you have a drug for this?

If the first astronaut to land on the sun doesn't say "Mission Control, I am now walking on sunshine and don't it feel good," they should not even bother.

Missed Opportunity:

If your last name is a Whittaker and you own a flower shop, and you don't call it "Florist Whittaker"

On behalf of the entirety of America, I just want to say that "we," as a group, are not doing this. It is literally just a handful of people who apparently can do whatever they want.

anyone up for a naked hula hooping contest

My bank flagged my debit card for fraud because I spent $46 at the liquor store. Like omg assholes, sometimes I’m fun.

why are taters the only thing we’ve totted

Kitten cleanser.

❤️❤️❤️

I hope they hold firm to this and that more countries join them.

Some people are just meant to find each other, and someday, somewhere, somehow they always do. Slipping into each other’s lives so naturally, making both hearts so happy. ❤️

high school prepared me for square dancing. a lot of fucking square dancing.

Totally works, it’s the only thing I use. Pet friendly!

my alone feels so good, i’ll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude - warsan shire red-orange singular poppy against a black background

Apparently “Just fuck me up” is not an admissible order at Wendy’s.

Chocolate 'Boner' Syrup Recalled for Actually Containing Viagra Ingredient This week, Lockout Supplements issued a voluntary recall of its

I totally picked up more of a Nutella™️ flavor but maybe that’s just me gizmodo.com/chocolate-bo...

a sex toy collection is like a horror movie villain: thrilling and much scarier when your imagination is doing most of the work. seeing all 27 cooking utensils and a bag of assorted LEGO kinda kills the mood

you can have all the self love in the world, it still fucking hurts when people treat you like you're disposable

I don't judge you for your skin color, your religion, or who you let touch your bathing suit places.
But I will judge your dirty microwave.

I wonder if people from other countries snore differently. Like a French person would go SZzxzggh oui oui oui

One part of my brain is always in my big, comfy chair cuddling with my little dog and that helps to get me through the long days

what the fuck is tomorrow? Wednesday? Jesus Christ I let half the week sneak up on me like a ninja