ottilie

new blog out about the perils of foreign interference in Central Asia WITH voiceover :) ottilie.substack.com/p/every-cloud

a drawing titled "how to draw a medieval cat." the drawing has two steps. step 1 shows a simple spiral shell labeled "1. shell." step 2 shows a cat body attached to the shell, labeled "2. cat." the final image shows the completed "medieval cat" with a proud expression and sparkles around it

part two

Transing my gender for a piece of strawberry candy, growing in my monobrow, and finding my place in the feather boa/newboy cap binary--I wrote this letter about the rigid and deeply unserious world of gender in Central Asia.
ottilie.substack.com/p/your-best-...

banana bread with /
flax seed is crumbly but /
eggs are expensive

Rrrrrrr grrrrrr rufff ruff

It didn't used to, but it has since the first time my nose got broken! I always wondered if the break shifted my little nose bones enough to mess with my sinus structure

I don't think my grandpa has noticed that I came into the living room while he was watching Red because so far he's rewound it once to re-watch Bruce Willis beat Karl Urban bloody and rewound it TWICE to re-watch Karl Urban beg for mercy... I fear we have the same brain

If I ever describe myself as an influencer please know that I'm referring to my Substack recommendations

"That's it!! No more Mr. Tough Guy!" (starts crying because you hurt my feelings)

if u are an American/can visit us I very much suggest visiting our national parks while they are still around :') they are far and away one of the best things about the U.S. and it is unlikely that they will continue to exist in the same form by the time the Trump administration is through with them

One of my final tiktoks (sans the traditional Chinese song that I added as background noise in the app lol)

crying omg I'm going to do the same thing rn

can one of you tech-savvy people please build a device that shocks me every time I try to open tiktok so I can get over this a little faster

keep em coming Mr Green these are my lifeblood right now

I thought we had until midnight 😔 RIP my old private videos

Does anyone here have strong opinions about the right color of dark green? I'm trying to change the theme colors for Baby Steppes but am paralyzed by choice and truly think this might be the most important decision that I've ever had to make

Question for prevalent social media users!! Which is the correct social media platform upon which to admit my deep fear of hairless vulvas

Biology is WEIRD AND FUCKED UP even if it did say there were two genders I don't think I would trust it.... is this the same Biology that made elephant seals?? No freaking way buddy

wash :( I am a fool

This is my daughter Charity, and my sons Earnest and Thou-Shalt-Washes-The-Dishes-Without-Asking

There's a chrome extension downloader that can do that and you don't even need to log into your account, so there's no data risk. chromewebstore.google.com/detail/myfav...

i’ve never met a rich person who i thought was cooler than me and that’s what carries me through sometimes

please 😔

Can someone please please pleeeeeeeease write me one of those little recommendation things for my Substack? I love it when people have those pinned to their publication home pages I want to do that so bad

New year new me though am I right

Last year I took my tampon out at a gay club and there was no stall trash can but there was a hole in the wall with a bunch of arrows drawn towards it and my drunk mind said "ah, for trash" so I put my tampon in it and the guy on the other side said "what the FUCK" and pushed it back through

Any drug is a hard drug when I do it! that's how bad I am at doing drugs

I can but I won't

Any drug is a hard drug when I do it! that's how bad I am at doing drugs

Currently watching the 2011 Conan the Barbarian remake and it has thus far stayed very true to the original Conan vibe (funky haircuts and gratuitous boobs)