FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
1. 𝗗𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗮𝗹 - "It can't be true!"
2. 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 - "This is so unfair!"
3. 𝗛𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗽 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯 - "Eight shots of D'Usse, please."
4. 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗲 - "I'd kill my mother to hit it once."
5. 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝘁 𝗢𝗳𝗳 𝗡𝗮𝘀𝘁𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲 - "You snapped it! Drop the other half in milk. Oh god. Oh my god!"
two blue pills
I see
Would be a real shame if I found out you weren't subscribing to the Outfit patreon. Who knows in such a case if I could still guarantee your personal safety. Got it?
Travolta: (noticing vaguely European accent) Jendrick you ever had a full body mouth massage.... with cheese
Jendrick: "well John, now that you have a free slot..."
"Sir? Current day John Travolta is here without an appointment to give you a 'full body mouth massage'."
Tell me - you hear this on your corner office intercom, you buzzing him in? or NAH?
Denis Villeneuve? That's just one sound each away from penis fill a groove. It's a rotten industry top to bottom.
Here's what you want Train Dreams to be
PROSPECTOR: Reckon's any timber in yonder gulch, pa?
PA: (scritches his pant crotch)
Here's what Train Dreams is
LUMBERJACK 1: I hope someone invents the iPhone soon.
LUMBERJACK 2: And iPhone apps and Samsung Galaxy phones.
LUMBERJACK 1: That would be cool.
How do you mean
Should have terminatored some of the conductors, if that's not already what happens in it
We used to make movies about cool stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger walking around naked killing guys for their sunglasses and cool leather clothes. Now we just make movies about zootopia two. And about train dreams. I'm trying hard to think of some others. Elf.
He should have to do one for every class.
🎵 3, 9, 16, 1
🎵 8, 10, 17, 100
🎵 33, 35, 3308
easily one of the top reasons I stopped going on reddit at all is how many times I had to see shit line "this is Rowena, my sweet rescue cuddle bug who got flattened by a 4th of July parade after she survived being fed a lit Bunker Buster Megamax firework 😞🥹"
dead dog on rainbow bridge
Things are hard. The world is cold. The news is dark. But at least they're making a video game where you can live out your fantasy of being a dead pet dog . On Nintendo switch two
let that ink in!
Patreon Congrats mike, you're now a member of The Outfit
Look how easy it's always been to become a made man. Could be you!
Would be a real shame if I found out you weren't subscribing to the Outfit patreon. Who knows in such a case if I could still guarantee your personal safety. Got it?
After 27 episodes of THE OUTFIT, the podcast about how organized crime explains the world, we come to the end of Season 1 & the final episode of "Al Capone All-American," as Al is pursued by his most dangerous foe ever: the IRS. BUT: that's not the big news. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a...
dry dog wet dog
Always fun to be in the period where Trump says "Kristi was great" and Noem says "Thank you Pres. Trump for great work together" when we all know in less than three days he'll be like "That horrible hag woman. I never even knew her. But I have approved drone strikes on her house. A stupid person."
this post deserves to be presented to you by having an index card moved down word by word with photos taken of your face after every new reveal
it's showing on mine. i think a lot of shit is glitching behind the scenes this week with functionality being slow or outright broke. no idea why ✨
yaaas kwayne
I was standing outside the press conference and got to be the first one to tell Kristi Noem she was fired. She was so taken aback she stumbled onto a big spring behind her that launched her into the ceiling at 7000000mph and now she's making sounds like Goofy as she hurtles ass first into space.
lem and shane from the shield
Kristi Noem will be Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas
Sen. Markwayne Mullin has died of taking a standardized third grade reading level test. He is expected to be replaced at the Department of Homeland Security by two stray dogs humping.
BrainyQuote Slam Quotes A person gets pushed down; they think they're being 'body-slammed.' There's really not any certain thing - that came from more fake wrestling - you know, 'the body slam,' being picked up in the air and thrown to the ground. It's all in someone's interpretation of what someone thinks a 'body slam' really is. Markwayne Mullin Related Topics Air, Any, Being, Body, Came, Certain, Down, Fake, Gets, Ground, Know, Picked, Pushed, Really, Slam, Someone, Thing, Think, Thinks, Thrown, Up, You
🧠💭
Markwayne is a pseudonym that comes from the word steamboat captains would traditionally call out when they needed a journalist bodyslammed down into the dregs of the Mississippi River.
EVERY WORLD CUISINE: For hundreds of years, we have combined local ingredients into transcendent dishes that reflect our national ethos.
AMERICA: Our only food idea was to stuff as much slaughterhouse floor anus as we could into a big plastic condom. It is the only thing we eat on every holiday.
