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Chris Boyd

@paperghost

Award winning security researcher | 7 time Microsoft MVP | Google Hall of Fame | Music & video creation | UK Immigration (family reunion) https://soundcloud.com/umawing

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Latest posts by Chris Boyd @paperghost

question broadly applicable to every other rich doofus

06.03.2026 23:12 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

when everyone is out of work and every business is badly-made LLMs in every direction and nobody has any money, who is going to use your stuff jack? what use is a point of sale system with no sales? are you stupid?

06.03.2026 23:11 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

gonna try and make "nonce bins" stick

06.03.2026 22:25 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
an email addressed to UKVI, with a title that says "guess what" and the body of the email is a line drawing of a muscular me with no shirt on, with one fist raised, and the text "abolish the home office". i am wearing a banana colander and an xmas beard

an email addressed to UKVI, with a title that says "guess what" and the body of the email is a line drawing of a muscular me with no shirt on, with one fist raised, and the text "abolish the home office". i am wearing a banana colander and an xmas beard

06.03.2026 20:36 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Lo-Phi Here be music

it's randomly selected track from my big pile of stuff time:

06.03.2026 19:05 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

my low stakes conspiracy theory: bethesda is obsessed with 50s styling to an unreasonable degree because they can't find any other decade with as much radio music about radiation and atom bombs

06.03.2026 18:26 πŸ‘ 43 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

Unfortunately, β€œYo brother, legal team confirmed we can’t work with minors rn” is an instant classic

06.03.2026 13:38 πŸ‘ 8827 πŸ” 2001 πŸ’¬ 85 πŸ“Œ 34

ah, beaten to it! yes, another thumbs up for PDF24

06.03.2026 15:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I usually fire up PDF24

06.03.2026 15:09 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

i think the muppets would like me. they'd probably think i was great. and i, of course, would overlook their sins

06.03.2026 13:44 πŸ‘ 43 πŸ” 17 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

abolish the home office. salt the earth

06.03.2026 13:08 πŸ‘ 111 πŸ” 40 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 1
"linkedin top picks for you, content designer uk home office"

"linkedin top picks for you, content designer uk home office"

get me ten priests and a bucket of holy water

06.03.2026 12:15 πŸ‘ 55 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0

BLUESKY EMPLOYEE: I hope our ugly users are hit by a high speed train.

BLUESKY POSTER: Sir, I run a food bank for coma orphans! Why would you say such a thing?

BLUESKY EMPLOYEE: I hope all the endangered animals on earth die. I hope the sky is choked with black smoke forever.

05.03.2026 16:17 πŸ‘ 1619 πŸ” 435 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 9

I think the ChatGPT use of β€œit’s not ___, it’s ___” is more distinct from human use of that phrase than people make it out to be. Because ChatGPT is always making some stupid metaphor that communicates zero information. β€œIt’s not a drizzle, it’s a flood”

06.03.2026 09:24 πŸ‘ 904 πŸ” 72 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 2

"nice hostile environment framework you have there, be a shame if anyone were to flesh it out significantly" is definitely something that goes whizzing by people who say things along these lines

06.03.2026 09:20 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

and there are also lots of people who've experienced all of these home office incarnations including labour. suspect ruth will tell us that we're wrong too. nothing beats direct experience like saying whatever you want on the internet

06.03.2026 09:15 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

yeah like have they never had to visit a college or school? it's all terminal printed photos stuck on blank lanyards and twenty sign in boxes to fill. every workplace I've visited for 20 years gives you a lanyard or door swipe. it's so out of touch on a fundamental level it's unreal

06.03.2026 09:13 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

my mum has a lanyard - she works in a care home for minimum wage

06.03.2026 08:51 πŸ‘ 48 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1

this isn't true. do you think people with extensive experience of our immigration system don't see posts like yours? that they don't have intimidate knowledge of everyone's proposals and what they mean on an individual level? because they do

06.03.2026 09:07 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

my first ever proper job in the early 2000s selling car insurance had one because you weren't getting in otherwise. feels like if someone was going on about avocado toast to 60 year old millennials in 20 years time

06.03.2026 09:03 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

also seeing as i'm here, if you're not married to a british citizen you usually have to wait an extra year before being able to apply for citizenship. both this rule and students being forced to jump across multiple visa types just to settle seems bafflingly pointless to me

06.03.2026 08:05 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

it'll be significantly lower than that because time spent as a student doesn't count towards the standard 5 year route. official stats usually show something like 48 students managed to get ILR after 5 years, presumably through some sort of exemption or (insert unique circumstances here)

06.03.2026 08:03 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

the best part is throwing in the "optional" blood test to see if he'll have a bad reaction to anaesthetic which costs an extra Β£80 or so

05.03.2026 21:30 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

man, coming back to fallout 4 made me realise how unenjoyable survival mode is second time around. there is simply no fun to be had running from red rocket to abernathy farm 600 times and then dying to a bloatfly. the most fun to be had is simply disabling it and getting fast travel and saving back

05.03.2026 21:29 πŸ‘ 12 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

tfw your wife is called a historical error by someone so dense her brain could rattle around the inside of her head for a thousand years and never touch the sides

05.03.2026 21:16 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

major john to ground control is in his immediate future

05.03.2026 21:11 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

i think we should just put every MP who escaped from the big top in a rocket ship and send it to the moon

05.03.2026 21:09 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 0

i know everything costs a fortune, but 500 odd quid to get my dog's teeth cleaned at the vet seems beyond ridiculous

05.03.2026 19:59 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL. kristi noem is doing a live speech right now and doesn't know she was fired. 🚨

05.03.2026 19:23 πŸ‘ 4082 πŸ” 709 πŸ’¬ 132 πŸ“Œ 126

my university talk for soon-to-graduate infosec students is next week.

love getting past the first three slides about phishing and then whoops! a picture of my wedding, how did that get there and oh no! a bar chart of all the money I've paid the home office, my mistake! anyway, my wifeβ€”

05.03.2026 18:34 πŸ‘ 21 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0