DocAtCDI

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I'm annoyed because I had to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armor. I hate knight shifts.

It's important to have a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,'

one of my good friends would still be alive.

Flat lay of dried purple flowers with lavender paper on white background, providing ample copyspace.

Lavender hues and dried blooms arranged with quiet intention, captured by Tamanna Rumee on Pexels. Sometimes the simplest compositions hold the most space for stillness.

My wife left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

Ordered some Christmas presents online the other day and used my donor card instead of my debit card.

Cost me an arm and a leg.

Stunning aerial view of a lush tropical island and traditional boat in Linapacan, Philippines.

Jervine's lens captures the emerald waters of Linapacan, Philippines, where a traditional boat rests between island and open sea. From above, the tropics reveal their quiet geometry: forest meeting reef, shadow tracing coral, and one small vessel holding the space between land and horizon.

Learning Norwegian is an Oslo process.

Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.

Stunning capture of a wave during sunset, creating an artistic view in Huanchaco, Peru.

Golden hour meets the Pacific in this stunning wave capture from Huanchaco, Peru, photographed by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels, where light and water converge into something almost painterly

A policeman stopped me and said he was looking for a man with one eye.

I told him to use both, and he'd find him a lot quicker.

Parallel lines have so much in common!

...It's a shame they'll never meet each other.

A breathtaking view of the powerful Iguazu Falls surrounded by lush greenery in Misiones Province, Argentina.

Where the earth opens and thunder falls, Iguazu reveals its raw power through mist and green. Photo by Csaba Marosi captures the scale of one of the world's most commanding waterfalls, carved into the heart of Argentina's Misiones Province.

My wife tried to beat me up with an old Elton John record...

I'm still standing.

I try not to.

Scientists concluded that tsunamis occur because the ocean is mad that no one ever waves back.

Howdy stranger.

Artistic still life featuring gemstones and exquisite purple flowers on a metallic tray.

Los Muertos Crew captures a moment of quiet luxury on Pexels, where amethyst blooms rest alongside polished gemstones on a gleaming metallic tray, each element catching light in its own way

Where can you get vegan beef?

From a vegetabull.

What's the best thing that happened to you today?

#BestThingOfTheDay

Carpenter ants are just like regular ants

except rainy days and Mondays always get them down...

Capture of a countryside field with people and a stone tower from above.

From above, the countryside unfolds in quiet geometry—stone tower standing sentinel over open fields where figures move like brushstrokes across the land, captured here by Quang Nguyen Vinh on Pexels in a moment that feels both vast and intimate.

I once went on a date with a cross-eyed girl. It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

You cant fight Destiny.

if you try to fight Destiny,

then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too

#DocAfterDark

The Energizer Bunny just got arrested.

They charged him with battery.

Breathtaking view of vast desert dunes with a bright blue sky, showcasing natural beauty and tranquility.

The desert stretches endlessly beneath a cloudless sky in this serene capture by Emrecan Algül on Pexels, where golden dunes meet brilliant blue in perfect stillness

Next Friday my cousin is having a C-section. Her baby will be my first cousin...

Once Removed...

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.

Two dancers pose creatively in Dubai's vast desert under a bright blue sky.

In this striking composition by Denys Gromov on Pexels, two dancers find their stage where the desert meets an endless blue sky, their forms a study in contrast against Dubai's golden expanse

A trucker called me on the CB today and asked what the date was. I said, '10/4, good buddy.'