Tongue Scraper

I haven't masturbated in a week. Who the fuck even am I??

So..... pizza?

Fair

Wait is this because I called it double stuffed instead of stuf?

I hope you have many more days above dirt.

bsky.app/profile/mono...

The circle of Aema.

If I'm on here there's a good chance I'm avoiding something else.

Great, now how am I going to get boys in my yard?

Who decided we must all die on hills anyways?

I hope that someday those Kraft singles find love.

Boobs and Oreo's is way too much power but I'm here for it.

I was so confused and thought I unfollowed you somehow.

I will but not because you told me to.

She said she loves you

I'd let you ruin me.

Just a little bit.

Googles how to unsay the stupid thing

Some of my best work is still pretty terrible.

wanting to cry while at work is a whole experience

Look, I am going to need speakerphone to go away. Don't tell me you have no idea how ear buds or headphones work. If you use speakerphone out loud, people hate you. Same with keyboard clicky clacks. Are you a fictional cow trying to get heated blankets in the barn at the farm? Turn that shit off

You have really nice legs (respectfully).

There's a just the tip joke here somewhere but I can't find it.

They must be thigh haters.

Hopefully they never find out I kind of like it

The women in my life are bossy as heck.

One apple per day can keep a lot of people away if you aim really well

Wife: The dog chewing on her paw sounds so annoying.

Me: Just pretend I'm talking and you won't hear a thing!

True love in this dystopian hellscape?
How exquisite.

Choose a word. Think of it. Keep it to yourself, noone cares.