Greg Knauss

“Warkmayne Wullin.”

Is that a thing?

No?

Darn.

You are a *WARFIGHTER* for the DEPARTMENT OF *WAR*. You are FUCKING AWESOME. *HELL YEAH.* You think rules of engagement are for *PUSSIES*. You can do *250 SIT-UPS* while drinking GIN. You have WHITE SUPREMACIST TATTOOS that look TOTALLY RAD. Your mom is *DISGUSTED BY YOU* and you *DO NOT CARE*. You get lonely and sad sometimes, BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE. YOU WANT TO ***KILL EVERYBODY***.

~phegseth/wars/2026/CLAUDE.md

Stephen Miller: "The human rights that we are going to protect are not of the savages that torture and rape and murder. The human rights we are going to protect are of the peaceable citizens."

Stephen Miller, shorter: “We’ll be the ones deciding who is ‘human.’”

AI sure has come a long way.

It used to say to put glue on your pizza.

Now, it says to target a girl’s school with a double-tap missile strike.

The second one is where it’s working as intended.

If the ice cream isn’t jammed full of random candy and cookies and brownies — like, 50% by volume — I don’t want it.

I mean, I’ll still eat it, of course, duh. But I don’t want it.

But you offer him the bone out of a prime rib — with some meat left on it! — he’ll sniff at it for far longer than you’d think possible and then reluctantly deign to accept it, if that’s how it’s going to be. Hmph.

Priorities indeed.

The dog has several going-for-a-walk false positives, like me standing up from my chair, or when I stop scowling at the screen for longer than three seconds. He _cannot wait_ to go for a walk.

I genuinely hope a million businesses vibe-code their own useful, productive software.

Ha ha, fuckers! Now you own software! You have no idea the level of screwed you are.

Nobody should own software! It’s a nightmare! You’d be better off vibe-coding your own strain of gonorrhea.

If wishes were horses, a whole lotta people would be trampled to death by now.

I didn’t know this!

If there is anything I can still do better than a machine, I request that it be carefully hidden, like a precious jewel.

Ennui? Heartburn? Road rage? MINE!

I didn’t mean _give_ persistent depression.

Yeah, well, can Opus 4.6 have persistent depression? Huh?

Checkmate, techbros.

An experiment.

When I wake up in the morning, my joints make a sound like a bag of microwave popcorn, 90 seconds in, when it really starts to get going.

If someone were to “protest” my kid, hunting them down and fucking killing then would be the gentle option.

Packing up various ratchet sockets and drill bits after finishing a project is the home-improvement version of closing all your tabs after fixing a bug.

Packing up various ratchet sockets and drill bits after finishing a project is the home-improvement version of closing all your tabs after fixing a bug.

I imagine Stephen Miller is stomping around the White House, screaming, “At home! We’re supposed to be killing people _at home_!”

In “Crime 101,” high-end jewel thief Chris Hemesworth meets his fence, Nick Nolte, at the Grand Central Market in Downtown LA. They don’t show him trying to park because it would double the run-time of the movie.

Finally got a Be My Eyes call, and a very patient woman asked me read the measurements on a Robitussin dosage cup. The video was blurry, and I didn’t think to check my own medicine cabinet for the same style cup until we hung up.

Anyway, her kid is going to have a real good nap today.

“The most ethical AI company” is right up there with “the smartest member of the Trump administration” in the backhanded compliment hall of fame.

I didn’t think that “George W. Bush, but dumber” was even possible.

This Eisenhower guy everybody is quoting sound like a goddamned Commie.

“Trump _did_ obliterate Iran’s nuclear program, but Biden allowed them to build it back up, which is why Trump had to attack again. If the Democrats were so eager have a deal with Iran, why didn’t they negotiate one?” — An argument inevitably being advanced somewhere, by a voter

They’re all sitting around a hastily-assembled and wildly insecure war room at Mar-a-Lago, watching Twitter on the big screen, and someone wistfully says, “I wish Jeffery were here to see this.”

Stovepipe hats and red-white-and-blue fake beards at abestore.com.

Trivia question from 2045: Which US President was the first to declare a war while wearing their own branded merch?

“Operation Epic Fury.”

Everyone is 12 Now Theory remains undefeated.

I’ll bet it’s got a bitchin’ logo, like with axes and lightening bolts and shit.

BREAKING: The Department of War has named the attack on Iran “OPERATION EPIC FURRY,” marking the first time the subculture has been used to designate a military campai—

What?

“Epic _Fury_”?

God, what a bunch of dorks.

How is Hegseth supposed to protect America’s interests if he can’t even bully a fuckin’ nerd?