Glimmer Rose 🌹

racist behaviours also extends to designs rooted in racism, especially ones used to protect white ppl comfort from "uncomfortable" truths, puritanism, etc

this happens on every single social platform, and seemingly more on the more "progessive" ones

[white ppl]
*<praises social media platform>*

[poc]
yes, however *brings awareness of racist behaviours*

[white ppl]
you hate queer and disabled people

Happy #BlackHistoryMonth !

Feb 15: Neighborhood watch.

Why do Black people get so sensitive when you ask them if they live in this building, or if they live in this neighborhood? And unrelated, why does the US really have so many guns? What are they for?

Read this entire thread.

our digestive system has been messed up for the past month and a half. i just want our body to be back to normal :(

i'm sure this narrative will get erased*, just like every other thing to do with racism against black folks doing cool shit for their community

* multiple narratives i have been observing

still have huge issues with endwalker and just how, idk, a lot of stuff is casually brushed off

no, we aren't okay. i shouldn't even be saying any of this here, we are in clear need of professional help. its hard to keep pretending

and just how much draining or further disabling this is in the long run. we will ultimately need to figure out how to protect ourselves tho we don't have a whole lot and an uncertain financial future, while also addressing a backlog of administrative tasks to qualify us for anything &

no, it doesn't measure up to the injustices others in the world are experiencing, but without getting into more private details, it is still quite psychologically damaging. i worry what long term effects this has, and not just to us &

maintaining order, structure, confidence can be difficult when we need to tend or forced to witness unexpected things that take a lot out of us at any given moment in the day. &

we can be motivated and convinced that the things we are good at doing matters, but can very quickly be demotivated, overwhelmed, feeling defeated. &

CW: negative outlook

a combination of the state of our life (mental, living situation, lack of local community, uncertain continuity & future) + the state of the world has been honestly making it difficult to move forward in a consistent and sustainable manner. &

this isn't a guilt post or anything, i am just telling it how it is. ofc we aren't idly complaining about the state of the world. but our& efforts to improve on things require our& routine repetitive deliberation, and progress is slow. dopamine hits help activation but aren't long term sustainable

like we could disappear for weeks and outside of professional/work stuff, we might get absolutely zero outreach from anyone. this is the norm today and i imagine it is sadly the case for many who don't already have routine regulars

for a variety of reasons, casual text based communication has become harder for us over the decades

and as lm notes elsewhere, sometimes we take 50 years to respond bc of anxiety rewrites and doubt. the only way around this is verbal conversation which is even more rare casually today. but jumping into spontaneous group discord VC sometimes get there. caveat being we converse deeply better 1 on 1

the only way this would work is if it were hosted by someone external with curiosity about what we have to say. like not even deep curiosity. we get activation energy from ppl reaching out and starting conversation. it's a rarity today and in many ways our fault given how we isolate

this is a good thing btw! idk where it has come from but roses this year seemingly have been increasing confidence in expressing things that were difficult to us before. so if there is a time to start doing these things, it's now

so that we too are starting these conversations with the focus to things we find important and resources that should be highlighted

a fire within me has been lit and it is extremely difficult to NOT just want to dive into a conversation u care about but alas life commitments call

my lesson learned is roses need to be talking more proactively about what we care about, so that we practice & don't get flustered in these moments,

4k au is cheap, also lots of other red flags abt this person

i love you all but we need to sleep

anyway yeah, idk. but i do appreciate the people who make the effort to call us by our individual names. some don't even bother. despite using our plural proxies on discord with them. some i suppose can be excused, bc some don't call people by name to their face to begin with

looking at the reductive "it's all made up" dismisses a very human important experience: "meaning"

u might not mean it that way. but everyone who has said something like that to us made us feel very icky. so if ur gonna say that, u better be ready to clarify what you mean exactly.

if u wanna look at things in a cynical way, everything is made up, buddy. the human experience and culture is a collective swathe of human artistic expression. just some people sought to build/exploit systems to take control over narrative and set the stage of today's most visible colonialised norms

so yeah it's a messy thought process. and idk i guess i just get self conscious of ppl who don't know any better, watching that and end up revealing some kinda judgment like "ohh what a mess. ur just making all this up lol" and i mean look-

and idk, maybe she ends up taking a diff name and deciding to join the other 6 kinda dormant headmates no one knows about.

and that should just be ok right? if ur trans you are allowed to freely switch between names. why is this any different?

i think we are all feeling a bit weird if we have to tell people eventually, hey, actually there is no headmate "maddie". will ppl be weird and be like, well what happened to her? is she someone else? or what? and like, we're stlil figuring things out, and frankly some details are *too* personal-

we chose "the Roses" as a system name as it was something we all liked, and it differentiated collective Maddie from headmate Maddie when needed. but we don't have a "host" or anything like that. some singlets just assume/treat it like Maddie is that-

some plural systems have a headmate who share the singlet presenting name. some may not, and the singlet name is purely a collective representation.

some systems designate a "host", who could be either-