Big Miss Steak 𓅚 🐊

I bet she was good with her hands

Don’t apologize! We need to kick off the weekend with something fun

YAAAASSSS! Crack open the barrel o’ lube! It’s finally the weekend!

Someone just called 911 to report a “giant odor”. I fuckin love Fridays.

I am so, so sorry that you’re going through this. You DO NOT deserve to be treated like this. Know that lots of folks behind your screen support you.

Sometimes ya hit the nail on the head

We are all anal extrusive now. Anal retentives have gone extinct.

Marco Rubio dressed as Kristi Noem. Text reads Rubio finds out he has to replace Noem

Marco Rubio dressed formally as the Shah of Iran. Text reads Rubio finding out he needs to be the Shah of Iran in 72 hours.

This shit is why I love the internet. There are so many witty motherfuckers in the world. It renews my faith.

I want this cake for my next birthday

Milk? Beef from a blender?

This is how I feel pretty much all the time now.

So Philip Glass just joined TikTok. He only has like 4 posts and they’re simply him in what I assume is his living room playing the piano. First comment on one I saw was “your piano is too close to the fireplace, you’ll dry it out” and if that’s not the internet in a nutshell I don’t know what is.

New finisher: The Hartenbower. You suplex your opponent and the immediately crouch over their face and audibly fart.

Maybe you're too cool to be involved with model boats, but that probably means you've never seen a Russian submarine being chased by an angry Moorhen:)

I love how terrifyingly mod this advert is.

All technology improvement ultimately comes down to increasing access to sex stuff. Fucking luddites.

I want this as my vacation itinerary

Bsky is like my house. If you don’t like the vibe you can get the fuck out

Damn it! Now all my fun giggles when closed captions call Kristi Noem “Kristy Gnome” are over. 😭

Good night. Today has been enough. Hopefully tomorrow is less so.

Evil just needs some direction and all that mundane life shit’ll still be there to take care of tomorrow.

Fuck yeah I’m gonna be so tired when the alarm goes off in 6 hours.

You made soooo many folks happier today. Don’t think you didn’t do anything today.

The Blood Moon just hits different after menopause

You and your critters shall not be defeated

jayne mansfield