Seb

Thiccy celiac bitches got that gluten-less-Maximus

Absolutely spin kicking to Linda Ronstadt in the club rn

You guys are deleting instagram I’m deleting the weather app. We aren’t the same.

I also am a shirt on boy. Cause I get cold all the time. But I’ve been going a little longer after showers without putting one on because I take really hot showers in the winter and I want to let my body cool down. Maybe this can be recommended?

Watched twilight for the first time today.

Blinker?? I hardly know her

Me playing scrabble:
“How is supercalifragilisticedgarallenfuckshit” not a word????”

Nobody talks about how being Italian means looking at a hair and wondering if it’s an eyebrow or a pube.

Trump presidency got me at the zoo giving zyns to the mere-cats

Pussy so good you gotta explain it in small sentences call that hymens terms

Put me on indeed cause I be filling her openings

Duck Hannibal Buress be like “quack”

Gamer bois call their refractory period a “cooldown”

She Robin my Williams till the genie is summoned

None of my coworkers know any silly songs with Larry and it’s really fucking up my vibes

You’re in her DMs I’m sucking her toes in the parking lot of a Kingdom Hall

Omg ummmmm god I might still have to pick keys of life even tho hotter than July is my current obsession

What if we gave dobby Ayawaska

You’re in her DMs she’s spilling miso soup in my bed. We aren’t the same.

So is there a pansexual month or we just hopping on with bi like when I don’t want to have an in-depth conversation lol

Me playing a gig hosting a blues jam: *gets very high*

Every 50+ yr old yt woman in the building: “we must invade his personal space”

Living Labubu loca

Kinda accidentally circumcised my thumb yesterday chopping garlic

If I was athletic what sport would I play? None. Out of spite.

We don’t tell white men they aren’t funny enough

I knew if anyone replied to this is would be you

Is that a cannoli in your pocket or are you just happy to see me

I’m making coffee for my stuffies call that a la-brew-bu

White people don’t call any band that has horns jazz challenge. Difficulty fucking impossible.

People are just gloves that can walk