Mike Knell

Thoughts and prayers to the pole for a swift recovery. 🫡

Both the UK and Austria are warning against travel to Israel, Qatar, the UAE and Kuwait. Dubai and Doha may be trying to project a “business as usual” image but anyone who chooses to travel there despite the warnings is likely to find their travel insurance will not cover them if anything happens.

Especially if the dentist then introduced themself as "The new Number Two".

They missed a perfect gaslighting opportunity there, didn't they? "What do you mean? Everyone here is just as they've always been."

According to ORF over 300 people have been arrested in Qatar on suspicion of "publishing misleading information and rumours", which translates as "This war was a great excuse to round up the usual suspects without attracting too much damaging PR".

You'd have thought that by 2026 we'd be working out that the killing and orphaning of hundreds of thousands of children for no reason other than the servicing of the egos of a few fragile men is a crime against humanity and those who perpetrate such crimes should face justice. But apparently not.

Diesel seems to have gone up by about €0.30/litre in the past week thanks to the need to distract further from the Epstein files. I'm guessing the US is seeing similar increases, which is odd as I thought gasoline was supposed to be $1.50/gallon by now?

That 80s "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign would have had more success had it used Lemmy's version of the slogan (he took everything else but hated heroin with a passion) - "Don’t ‘just say no,’ kick his fucking teeth in. He wants to fuck up your life and probably everyone else you know’s life too."

Help ma boab!

(Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive.)

With apologies to Pamela Stephenson?

"Looking to meet that one special Authorised Firearms Officer for brief relationship"

Meanwhile ORF's headine earlier - "Harmless Austria loses 1:0 to Slovenia"

I'm not the only British child of the 1980s who still finds themselves declaring "No way, Harpic! No way, Dot! All that blue loo scene is for squares!" every time they clean the toilet, am I?

Just read of the murder of Ian Huntley and I'm sure that social media will be full of reasoned, rational and not at all bonkers insane comment on the matter. In fact, I'm so sure that will be the case that I'm not going to bother checking. Right?

I remember very little of my dreams, but I am nagged by a vague memory of a dream last night which involved working on establishing a base on the Moon, but that in order to make this happen the band had to find a new bass player.

They really have fake poo for every occasion. Fake dog turd... on a keyring?

Not appreciating this MAGA reboot of Mr Benn at all.

Just tried for the first time ever to look up a transcript of a committee hearing in the US House of Representatives and apparently the world's wealthiest country is unable to provide official reports of business in a timely manner. Makes me feel very grateful to the tireless reporters of Hansard.

That said, the Horst Wessel-Lied has a good tune but the lyrics are pretty dire as well. Maybe Nazis are just crap lyricists?

I'm not sure what I'm more disgusted by, the fact that this exists in the first place or the line "Savin' all my friends" which apparently was the best they could do to rhyme "Mercedes Benz". Not exactly "Der Wacht am Rhein" lyrically, is it?

I think the kids would describe that as "on-brand", no?

Photographed from a Canberra

"The Gays were the last petrol powered warships to be built for the Royal Navy." is a hell of a sentence when taken out of context.

FRODO: I thought you wanted to see the Elves, Sam.
SAM: I did. It's just that now I've actually seen them and found that they're a load of smug, joyless wankers who can't brew a decent ale, love the sound of their own voices and think long meetings are great.
FRODO: Sounds like my old job at Google.

It's really interesting how many people's attachments to their homes seem to be so weak that they can live there for 30 years but then decide it's completely unbearable and they have to move because a minor piece of street furniture gets installed.

"Order your Today today. Coming up on The Day Today tonight."

Bone spurs are congenital, clearly.

They only had to buy a couple of new letters to change the big sign from Khomeini to Khamenei the last time this happened as well.

Now *there's* a country notorious for regular and often arbitrary killings committed with bladed weapons, except that there it's the government that does it.

"The impeccable hotel staff kept calm and carried on" - because if they hadn't they'd have been sacked, not given their last three months of pay and deported.