if i could pinpoint where my life went wrong, it would probably be when i lost $50,000 on a ten bet special olympics parlay. in hindsight, i shouldn't have bet on someone's leg growing back but i was so caught up in the idea of winning a trillion dollars
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol
First night as a vampire hunter: oh no
A thread of breathtaking riddles
i can't do the pomodoro method i'm more of a doomsday clock method kind of guy
i read a longer article about this phenomenon a while back - didn't realise how tired i was of seeing it happen until i saw it written down! www.noidea.dog/glue
Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news
hey honey, don’t forget to buy the low sodium tortilla chips. mark is bringing his new girlfriend, a slug
“how are you planning to beat their arguments” “by uh *checks notes* agreeing with them completely”
the Little Drummer Boy:
pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
crowd: *restless*
the little drummer boy:
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum........
crowd: *booing, throwing trash*
me: LET HIM COOK!
joe cocker: you can leave your hat on
me, wearing the biggest easter bonnet louisiana oil money can buy: 🫡
anyway it's my opinion that those shiftless public sector jobsworths at the leisure centre have supped too long and too heartily at the trough of public finance. what is the cost to the taxpayer of these extravagant efforts to prevent me from taking my top off at the swimming pool. enough👏is👏enough👏
you can find a way to argue that basically anyone or anything has "had it too good for too long". the right makes prolific and effective use of this tactic mostly for people and things that blatantly haven't. we need to start doing this stupid shit. we're too afraid to get silly with it
you can convince the british public to support any kind of prospective legislative change as long as you frame it in terms of "punishing the bastards". the average brit is a roiling cesspool of directionless spite begging to be channelled into literally anything
"...to make millions of cups of tea, which most of the autistics will politely pretend to drink because tea is disgusting – but apparently that’s just what you drink at times like this."
THANK YOU
wow. minipan :0
A production of Cats is coming to town. Might buy a ticket so I can say, "Go on, git," at the Cats. On the other hand, I might just leave the Cats be. We'll see how it goes.
I should talk about the eviction too. I don't want to, but we *have* to keep repeating this history, so people know, because what happened at Dale Farm *was* an act of ethnic cleansing carried out by British police on the mainland UK, and it's still happening to GRT people.
Let me get a beer first.
fuck yesssss
New tiny video about the first Postman Pat game if you're into that sort of thing youtube.com/shorts/VQHRV...
christ. the way people behave around that man's work is its own whole piece of performance art
hacking the walls out of the side of peoples houses to preserve the banksys thereon
ohhh it was a SMALL bear. i've been imagining something different
GUY WHO INVENTED THE OBOE: yeah it goes bup bup bup bup bup
CLASSICAL COMPOSER, WEEPING: at last…
just let gargamel have the smurfs. who cares
Information: Let’s Know
i like it so much
these leftists mocking aaron sorkin’s ingenious plan to have mitt romney lead the democratic party have clearly never seen the episode of transformers armada where starscream teams up with the autobots and learns a little something about friendship
still can't figure out how they did hamster dance. gotta be fake hamsters obviously, but they move just like the real ones
