Phil Ollenberg

Sorry, I have reached my quota of stupids by 8AM. Not sure if it was the telezombie blocking stairs at train; the derp blocking the sidewalk because it was triggered by a car engine; or the telezombie blocking the sidewalk while on a FaceTime.

No more stupids today. Thank you for your compliance.

Making the pos fall off its Lime scooter and onto its face because it wasn't gonna stop at the very very red light. #PedestrianFun

Anatomy of a Disney Parks blogger articles:

CLICKBAIT/RAGEBAIT HEADLINE
3 verbose paragraphs of filler fluff
1 park official quote taken grossly out of context
2 paragraphs of wild speculation
Plea to follow/share/subscribe

Every gay lies to his coworker when you ask us how our weekend was.

a woman in a red shirt is holding a black sign that says indie kylie ALT: a woman in a red shirt is holding a black sign that says indie kylie

I'll be damned if I can remember all my coworkers names or even some of my friends, but holy fuck I can remember every lyric from a 19 year old Kylie Minogue album.

Does anyone else find it wild that the Canada Revenue Agency openly asks you for your full SIN as an identity verifier? Not, like, the first or last 3 digits. The full thing.

(And yes, I am really for real on the real CRA site.)

In case you're being told AI is all knowing and here to come take our jorbs… This is the ultra-confident answer AI gave me to the puzzle pictured: "PUEBLO WEST, COLORADO"

sandy cheeks from spongebob squarepants is holding a clipboard with a formula on it and says see this this is science ALT: sandy cheeks from spongebob squarepants is holding a clipboard with a formula on it and says see this this is science

Who made "heyyyyy" the confirmed, 100% tell that a 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵 is indeed a 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵?

Great savings in today's email from Sephora

The only country that tries to make high school transcripts FUN and COOL is the U.S. With fun, brightly coloured logos, stamps, fonts, picture of the school, etc.

Every other country understands it's a bland, formal document for bland formality. Every. Other. Country.

I don't know a single gay who lives in North Vancouver. 🤔

[4k] Test Track Ride - Tron-like Attraction - Epcot - Walt Disney World YouTube video by Attractions 360°

Today's going to be a tough day at schools and PSIs around British Columbia. Sometimes I just need a little hit of dopamine to get things moving. youtu.be/rvR58UJetOg?...

All of BC is wrapping the families of Tumbler Ridge with love.

Supports are available:

BC Mental Health Support Line: 310-6789

Kids Help Phone: Text “CONNECT” to 686868

Thank you to the emergency responders on the ground for the work they are doing.

God bless the fake indie girlies, all bundled up with everything blazing a huge outlet mall designer logo while also trying to be like "ooh i'm serious and unique."

It's been going up by like 1,000,000 an hour tonight it feels.

And it's more plugging their own research paper than a comment.

An April Fool's drag show where the first three queens intentionally perform the same number.

Coz I've been to ones where it wasn't and it wasn't but it did.

Just love these bank mailers that are basically like "please go more into debt. Please."

365 days since we became Vancouverites. A big move, but 100% worth it. We've found an amazing community, queer queers, and a great sense of belonging. Thanks to everyone who's made us feel at home. Cheers to the next 1, 5, 10+ years.

All good things must come to an end. "Dinosaur" an opening day attraction at Disney's Animal Kingdom (and one of my favourites) zaps its final guests back in time today. Here's us, waving goodbye to our carnotaurus friend for the final time.

As Dr. Marsh said, the future is truly in the past.

I don't think I trust Excel's random number generator. After trying to use it multiple ways so I can randomize the order I'm evaluating a number of submissions in, for fairness, it keeps suspiciously grouping the people back together.

He doesn't want to look upon the disgusting working class peasants out His window.

What if "World's Finest Chocolates" was never meant to be a prestige name, but just like, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦… 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. 🤷

They're on the ground and his seat is reclined. Isn't that against federal regulations during taxi, takeoff, and landing?

I had the privilege of riding on the Professor Doctor Princess train today.

a group of alvin and the chipmunks are standing next to each other in a room . ALT: a group of alvin and the chipmunks are standing next to each other in a room .

If The Chipmunks were French-Canadian, they'd just be one chipmunk named Alvin-Simon Théodore.

And then we grow "up" into the fine upstanding beige citizens we are today. 😅

It just supports the theory of dogs like an audience, I guess!!

I am GASPING in laughter -- WOW, I do NOT envy that one!!! Hopefully it was at least as you were arriving and your poor doggo had been waaaaaaiting; not just choosing to do it when you were picking people up.