michael

real

making alfredo sauce then licking the spoon clean to flirt with my wife

I don’t jerk off I DIY fuck

drinking concentrated red 40 and flying into an autistic rage brb

just spent like $1000 at Best Buy while gay

it’s always “what the dog doin” never “how the dog doin” 😞😞😞

unfortunately real

extreme play

real

Imagine logging into bluesky for the first time in a while and this being the first thing you see.

that must be an experience of all time

no

got a voicemail about my cum is this a gamer moment

had to make room for my new friends’ time zones

yard sale at the mind palace 80% off teen wolf trivia everything must go

stop telling people about my shower routine 😭😭

I wonder if they still think the VP has the power to deny the results of the election lol

“what are your intentions with my daughter”

man i really don’t think you want me to answer that

my wife did their hair for their theater performance tonight with their gaming headset on so we could do the destiny dungeon race today this is possibly a top 5 gamer move of all time

real

who wanna see the bit they cut out of my balls at my vasectomy earlier this week

SpongeBob sitting in his chair in a dark room

when you remember you are old enough that you have friends that have been at their current job since before you started highschool

hitting the griddy on the beaches of Normandy is the new meta

I lost the game AGAIN because I was busy until now and didn’t see this (yes I stopped what I was doing to inform you then resumed for 8 hours)

“Kermit says fuck” is a hit at the D&D sesh

hitting the griddy on the beaches of Normandy is the new meta

bedazzled my dick again

real

why won’t my doctor listen when I say I need mouse bites and the stupid drug 😭😭