shithead

jocelyne

not an anison but kpop, 한번만 안아줘 by Girl's Day

in theory i'd like to use this website more but in practice this place feels at worst like facebook and at best like tumblr. for a younger but equally uninteresting generation of users. vacuous anglophone monoculture

they love it and i love them

well, in any case, i suppose it doesn't matter. the world moves regardless of my (in)action. i just got out of bed and started ranting. sorry about that. thank you for reading though. i hope you have a nice day.

if this is an inescapable consequence of human individuality, how do people overcome it so naturally? am i programmatically dysfunctional, or just stupid and blind to the obvious?

i don't know how much of my alienation is self-imposed, but i do know that the world out there is weird and scary, that everyone i were to ever meet is impossible to relate with, like a foreign species

which i don't mind, generally. in fact i love it. but periodically there is a wave of loneliness crashing over me out of nowhere. it would be nice to have a romantic interest but i don't know how people manage that, or how to even find another human to interact with in your vicinity

this year also marks 10 years since i've had any interpersonal human contact outside of my immediate family, aside from three brief moments in time when i've left my room and life to go see nemlesss, in an odd series of coincidences. a decade shut inside my fortress of crap

today i turn 30, which, as a kid, i thought was old and decrepit. which is also how i feel now. hard to imagine not even being at the halfway mark of average life expectancy, yet already being a frail and rapidly deteriorating old man

crazy how as a kid every year felt almost unbearably long, but as an adult a decade goes by before you know it. i wonder if school compulsion is the reason why; maybe time would still feel languid if i were employed or otherwise obligated to grind my life away on someone elses schedule

hello world