Mx Jon

Getting roasted at work for eating Cheetos with chopsticks, but we'll see who's laughing when I'm done my snack and can get right back to work without needing to wash cheese dust off my fingers.

Meme image of two muscly arms clasping hands. Text over the hands reads "The most unhinged 'hear me outs' imaginable." Superimposed on the arm on the left is the trans pride flag, and on the arm on the right is the demisexual pride flag.

"That doesn't count as a hear me out, that's a conventionally attractive tree."
-my wife

Set a personal record for rejection of a job application. Only 24 minutes from submission to response.

Got to play my favorite game "Guess How Old Jon Is" at work yesterday. All guesses were off by at least 10 years. HRT really is magic.

Is that what that corn chip smell is?

You may have been taught that it's good to run cells flat from time to time but with modern lithium batteries the practice of deep discharge is no longer recommended.

Other forms of "deep discharge" may be carried out at operator discretion.

a cartoon of a dog wearing headphones and the words [ zoned out ] Alt: a cartoon of a dog wearing headphones and the words [ zoned out ]

daydreams are absolutely unhinged today.

"Why am I in such a shitty mood?" they asked forgot-to-eat-breakfastly.

"Goddamn, this doesn't help," they muttered in a looked-at-the-newsish manner.

A gray tabby cat lounging in a sunbeam on a leather couch next to a chenille blanket.

Behold, the Sunbeam Enjoyer.

You can't force it, clearly you weren't not trying hard enough.

One of the many perks of wearing a mask at work is I can mutter all kinds of shit under my breath without my lips being read. Insult someone straight to their face and nobody is the wiser.

Bad joke. Into the agony booth with you.

Ugh I feel like I just don't enjoy Life anymore.

For clarity I am referring to the breakfast cereal.

Last night my sinuses were so clogged I ate a piece of toast with horseradish spread on it like jam just to feel something.

a stuffed animal in front of a vending machine Alt: A grainy GIF in which Chiitan, an otter mascot wearing a turtle as a hat turns around and holds up a sign that says "Thank you". The camera pushes in to the sign for legibility and dramatic emphasis.

Chiitan liked one of my posts and I am being totally normal about it.

I need more queer friends IRL because I'll lay out some comic gold in the group chat and the best response I can hope for from the straights is "I'm not sure I'm allowed to laugh at that."

A Y-wing from Star Wars. It looks a lot like a Star Trek ship, with a primary hull, secondary hull behind, and two large cylindrical nacelles.

Star Wars fact: Y-wings are shaped like that because you need line-of-sight between the nacelles to generate a stable warp bubble.

It would force me to finally learn Blender though...

A cat wearing a jacket and button down shirt sits at the breakfast table with a newspaper and cup of coffee. Superimposed text reads "I should buy a 3D printer"

I get this impulse every few months and it's getting harder to fight. I can't be trusted with grown up money...

A thin blond haired man wearing combat boots, black PVC pants, and a diagonally colorblocked black, blue, and silver PVC jacket with an offset zipper walks towards the camera holding a silver cylinder in a menacing fashion. He is approaching a blond haired woman wearing a blue and yellow colorblocked PVC crop top with black sleeve detailing and a high waisted black PVC miniskirt. She also wears sporty safety glasses. She is assembling a hamburger but her hands are obscured by another extra upstage from her.

The Mondo Burger uniforms from Good Burger did something to my developing brain on a molecular level.

I once thought I saw two eagles doing that mating dance, right up until the dead squirrel they were actually fighting over bounced off my car roof

Repair exceeds my ability. I had to call a professional. I'm so mad.

A silver cylinder with an audio connector on one end and a compressed air fitting on the other.

This object shouldn't exist. This is an adapter with a female XLR audio connector on one end and a male compressed air quick-connect fitting on the other.

If you know what it's for, you're a pervert and we should be friends.

As much fun as Unfairly Ever After is, I'd love to see MuppetVision move into that space, especially with the Electric Mayhem taking over Rockin' Roller Coaster.

a man and a woman are looking at each other and the man is asking " both " Alt: Miguel and Tulio from The Road to El Dorado, facing one another. I don't recall which is which, it's been years since I've seen it. They are choosing between two things, one proposes "Both?" and is answered back with "Both?" to which both respond "Both." The first adds to this "Both is good."

Is that thing you like a kink or an autistic sensory seeking behavior?

...heck.

Household repairs really make me miss renting.

I don't know if this is a thing cities/towns have but the official legendary Pokemon of Forks, Washington should be Ho-Oh.

My wife and I have reversed calling hockey "the boy aquarium" and now call the actual aquarium "fish hockey."

Extremely disappointed to learn that the Vulcan cadet from Starfleet Academy is named Bavi, and not Bobby, as I had previously believed.