Effective Nancy

get the cambros

it’s okay you can just call me a nerd

but do remember i’m the kind of person who is not a lawyer who nevertheless uses latin in conversation so (called my kid sui generis over breakfast just now while completely unable to remember a celebrity’s surname)

i just read a headline that used “bacteria” where “bacterium” would have been correct and thought, no one cares about this anymore, do they? love you, thank you

<rahm emanuel > + <worst guy valid point> = <they’re the same picture>

this man has been on a tiny kaiju rampage all. day. long. and i’m glad that, even though i don’t doubt the surgeon about the eventual lethality of his particular condition, i did not follow her advice and let her euthanize him last year. he’s having such a vigorous and youthful week so far!

#7 looks like the best way to earn a winning sexual assault lawsuit even though idk that window seat guy, i’ll chose that

my child has a personal vendetta against WUStL for asking the same well-being questions quarterly their entire HS career. they’re like “I AM NOT A WELL BEING”

Mr Snuggins, geriatric bearded dragon, barely visible in the front window (dusty bc i didn’t use a lint-free cloth) of his home, ultra-zoomed from the vantage point of my kid’s desk chair; he wishes i were not wire mother but cloth sibling

anyone who thinks lizards are categorically bad pets who care nothing for their human companions has not seen the longing in Mr Snuggins’s eyes when he’s trying to peep/manifest my kid at their desk (they’re at school rn). he is about as tall as he can get without climbing up

i think this is my third of this particular rodeo

got the official serious-face letter about further investigation today but i’m also wearing dinosaur-print underwear so i’m feeling like it evens out. realistically and statistically speaking, they’re going to keep finding sparkles in there until there’s no material left to scan

i think the watch question needs to be asked in the other direction. which watches are supported with cellular + gps on your existing phone plans?

when the little arms make it around your neck >>>>>

you know what, let them cook, they might loop all the way around into affirming trans folks as the most gender of their respective genders, and then we can meme it with various LOTR edits

it’s gonna be cartilage gone wrong, i just know it

1000%

i would go insane, MRIs are a sensory nemesis

i think the synergy of post-covid lymph swelling and chronic pain really made it especially awful today but seriously, i’ve recovered from surgery before and not ever from my chronic conditions so my brain is definitely screaming based on past experience (and avoiding the scary part)

oh no!

and what if i could stand up straight?

yes but then they can no longer make me do at minimum an hour’s worth of squashing annually, right?

i am in fact going to need more examination but they’ve done this before and it begins with more squashing and skin pulling

my garmin thing thought i was actually exercising, that’s how stressful that was

i can’t be the only one who’s halfway through the mammogram gauntlet today hoping for a tiny spot to justify top surgery on the preventive care dime, this is absolute skin-ripping torture

Alleria never looked more sympathetic (complimentary) (i’m mad at her for her parenting choices vis-a-vis Arator)

one guess whose partner tore off his cpap at 3 am and for whom the strongest loop earplugs are not enough to close off that sound

my baby was 3750g, no wonder my body is destroyed

mine thinks they have a restricted palate but they just have strong preferences in home cooking. i sold study abroad in CR by saying there’d be beans and rice at every meal, no lie, and i think i’ve gotten them pretty hype about college based on the restaurant scene. they’ll try anything they trust

those are among our favorites as well. they just also eat smoked salmon, whether raw or cooked, which is fun bc they have lately hated on unsmoked salmon if cooked at all

lol they ate the last real one of the 4-pack, didn’t taste mine. it’s pretty similar but it’s definitely easier to mash up the components given in the packet than to assemble and process them as ingredients