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Jerry Mathers is still alive!

Friday

I fucked up. Bought this TV GUIDE game cuz it looked wacky and fun, but the questions are insanely hard! Written for someone born in the 40s who's spent every waking hour watching TV. Even the kids ones are hard! 📺🧠🤯

Can't believe how prophetic Ernest in the Army is to our current situation. Straight up got the chills watching it.

Hey, Vern! A whole mess of the lesser known Ernest movies are on Prime. Ernest Slam Dunk, Rides Again, In the Army, Goes to School! If you have derpy kids, or you're derpy yourself, these are a great way to pass the time. Knowudimean?

Slime People are people too!

Super rare bendy Leprechaun movie promotional toy with bags of gold. Not a lot of these in existence, even less with the gold. I wants me gold! 🪙

Remember where you are in case Marsha interrogates you!

The Giant Spider Invasion was great! Love movies that can't pick a star. This one focuses a lot on a random scumbag redneck for some reason. Also happy to see Alan Hale Jr. And the giant spider effects are amazing! ☄️🕷💀

I am pursuing employment as a squire at Castle Video. They have a powerful wizard that can turn still images into moving ones on a magic box that hypnotizes all that gaze upon it. Wisheth me good fortune on my quest!

Came across some crass language on Murder She Wrote. I am going to write a letter to the station. This was during family hour on a Sunday too! 😡

Wow, De Vol, the dude who made the Brady Bunch theme song, also scored tons of movies including Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. He got a mess of of Oscar noms too. And he was the scout leader in The Parent Trap. What a stud!

#frankdevol

Drunk level

Bela Lugosi's Igor will never be beat! Such a wonderfully creepy performance. Amazing backstory too: They hung him, but it just broke his neck and he didn't die, so they had to let him go since his punishment was "hanging." Ha!

Poor kids nowadays, they never got to experience the magic of 70s cartoons with hand painted backgrounds growing up. So beautiful!

Welp, might get 86'd from my fav local tavern. Customer complained cuz I gave her baby a dirty look. I explained that giving babies who stare at me dirty looks is my hobby and it helps toughen them up, but they're still mad. Still gonna do it, though. It's for their own good!

There was lots of action, that's not a lie! Gotta give the director credit for crazy shots and kooky violence. He certainly tried to copy the original. The whole thing plays out like the LaCroix version of Dusk Till Dawn.

Popeye with prostitutes

Watched Tura! The Tura Satana documentary. Used to watch Faster Pussycat on VHS weekly. What a gal! And ass kicker! I always thought she killed the five men that raped her, but she actually beat the shit out of them one by one. Amazing. Wonderful to see so many photos of her dancer days too. 😍

The Leprechaun series declined when they took away his "has to polish shoes" weakness. Every horror franchise monster needs a weakness! Jason's scared of hotdogs, Freddy can't do math, Michael will run if asked to dance. Without a weakness, monsters are boring! 👞🍀💀

One of the more comedic entries in my favorite horror niche genre: 80s rock n' roll horror movies. Also one of the horniest, and that's saying something!

It did! Lots of crazy stuff popping off the whole movie. Tons o' big explosions.

The aggresively ugly, surreal imagery of the post apocalyptic vehicle battle scifi crazy movie Terminus. I'm a sucker for vehicle battle movies with wild vehicles, so this was fun. So many crazy cars created just to blow up!

I demand that they stick an exta "i" in "Australian" to match my spelling of it.

Watched Alison's Birthday. Not a lot of super Satanic Austrailian 80s horror flicks, so I will take it. Well made, but very slow moving. The pay off is worth to me, excellent ending. Also may be a contender for "best boyfriend in a movie ever" award. 🪃🐐💀

I hope ASSTER BLASTER is a character

That first day back to work after a long break

How come face tattoos are always dumbass words and nothing cool like this?

Really.