mj

baseball is about tension and release

therapist: have you ever considered thinking about things differently?

no

there is a plan. there are paths.

clearly manic lmao

i need to optimize

i am going to set reminders on my phone. it's time i become "that guy"

and taking my HRT in CAREFULLY SPREAD OUT DOSES

alternately gooning and playing pokemon all day instead of going to work may have fixed me

I AM SO FUCKING MJ YOU GUYS

achieving new paradigms of self-conception i never dreamed were possible

i am a work in progress. but progress is being made.

not to be all female about it but i think some new clothes would fix me

who am i? where am i going?

who am i? where am i going?

who am i? where am i going?

who am i? where am i going?

can somebody please tell me how to conceive of myself?

shit. fuck.

REAL

ok i think im figuring some shit out. im getting there.

maybe wait and see if ppv becomes more widely accessible? that would be ideal.

and yes my dick n balls feel and behave more like a vagina, gets mildly wet, orgasm more female, etc. but i think i wanna wait and see on that. im not that far into transition, im not sure how much it'll continue to change.

i am of two minds re: bottom surgery... if HRT makes your genitals feel and behave like that of the opposite sex, wouldn't it be better to have things in the "proper configuration"? it would "feel correct" but also.. i just like being a non-binary dickgirl genderthing, identity-wise. comes naturally

i thought the idea of someone only changing their middle name but still being super sensitive about their deadmiddlename was kinda funny. turns out it fits being non-binary pretty well. always liked using my middle initial J so i picked a name that sounded like it. hella convenient too.

chat,,,,

lol now im second guessing this. its all good, I'll figure it out.

yeah that's definitely what it is tbh

lol. im more worried that they're gonna realize they didn't need to hire me and reassign me or something. worried about losing my prevailing wage and having my income instantly cut in half.

last minute yearly performance review on monday morning. im panicking.