Screenshot of a Twitter post I found on that reads: there was a spring in second grade where every single recess I would walk out to the most remote part of the playground, “die” dramatically, and lie motionless for the entire 20 minutes. I was trying to trick a Turkey vulture into coming down to eat me so I could grab it as a pet.
porting over my “banger novel openings” thread from the bird site
People are making fun of this but at the end they open mouth kiss and it's actually kind of beautiful. They're clearly doing hand stuff too but they don't show it.
Margaret Kennedy believed that “true novelists are responsible only to themselves and their readers, not to any cause that might be pursued through politics or religion or anything else that has not been transmuted by a novelist’s imagination.” —Edward Mendelson
It’s actually FEWER Misérables
She's like an old samurai whose great battles are behind her but every once in a while she kills a man with piece of paper just to prove a point
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
James Franco being executed by hanging. "First time?" he asks, as though he's been hanged before.
hey gen z welcome to republican governance
All world leaders should have to wear hats with the name of their country on them
Complicated time to be teaching Persepolis to high schoolers…
My endless diuretic.
brief me, daddy
Calling each other warriors.
If FIFA did, for some reason, regularly give out a Peace Prize, you’d think #1 on the list of criteria for potential winners would be “do not start a war with another nation in the World Cup, directly before the start of the World Cup”
Imagine turning in a jazz record to your label and saying, "This album is called 'The Shape of Jazz to Come.'" That's like Shohei Ohtani changing his name to Studderton Hitpitch in his first spring with the Angels.
[doing backing vocals for Sam Cooke] Science Book
At one point I must have groaned or something, because my wife looked over and started laughing at the face I was making. Also thought it was funny that Mary Shelley couldn't get the spotlight to herself without her big brother showing up.
I agree so hard. I was baffled by the choice. It totally undercuts the stakes.
2026 taking "Kafkaesque" to a new level
Ben Rosen Follow @ben_rosen REPUBLICANS: we're having the military throw protesters in unmarked vans DEMOCRATS: mark 5:23 • 23 Jul 20 the vans
This, basically:
I don't have a new angle on every cop union issuing its own version of Nick Swardson I Was Murdered Dot JPG after two cops got hit with snowballs while wandering NPC-style through a snowball fight. I guess I'm most curious about who called the cops to say "they're throwing snowballs in the park."
It was one of those days when you can see the ghosts of all the other lovely days. You drink a bit and watch the ghosts.
🦅
"The Value of Not Understanding Everything" -- Grace Paley biblioklept.org/2026/02/24/t...
So let’s say you have gotten AI to fake your education, fake your job, fake your romantic life, fake your art, fake your entertainment, fake your dead relatives, what are you spending your time doing? Post-human life seems pointless.
This is exactly right. The Onion quietly left Twitter a month ago and... our weekly subscribers went up. It's because we're doing well here, on Instagram and on YouTube.
As a business, being on Twitter is somewhere between useless or detrimental, unless you're selling boner pills.
From a new larry mcmurtry bio: “ALLO CLY In mid-April 1986, McMurtry was staying in the Holiday Inn in Uvalde. He had been invited to lecture at a small college there—the first speaker the school had ever had. "Welcome to Larry McMurtry, Author of Terms of Endearment," read the Holiday Inn marquee. During a half-hour lunch break on his campus visit, McMurtry learned he had just been awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Lonesome Dove. The next day, someone told him the hotel had updated the marquee. He stepped out-side, expecting hearty congratulations. The sign read: "Catfish Special, $3.99."”
lol
Terribly underrated Taylor novel. Each of the five I’ve read are astounding but this is one I see praised less frequently than others. Highly recommended.
This goes hand in hand with the AI industry trying to convince us that thinking for ourselves is problem in need of solving.
