Fitzgerald Chesterfield

Regular unleaded gasoline for one dollar and sixty-seven and nine-tenths cents per gallon

I took this picture on February 28 of this year

@eitmonline.bsky.social does a HR that triggers the mercy rule count as a walk-off?

Really telling on myself at the pediatrician when I say, “Yeah we’ve got a vaporizer at home” when I meant nebulizer

If I recall correctly, similar accounting fuckery allowed some contractors involved with Abu Ghraib to mitigate the justice they saw for their involvement

Uncle Suey’s Szechuan Palace

I’ve got frosting all over my damn hands

A Wilton piping bag filled with cream cheese frosting well beyond the “max” line

You think you can tell me what to do, Wilton? Fuck you!

My family gets pissed at me for forcing pieces where they don’t go

Did that guy just guess “Straight Piss” on Wheel of Fortune?

He was really cooking when he named that place

I think if you posted a video of yourself eating a burger, people would think it was weird

Well they shut down the vape shop where I occasionally grab a tall boy or six pack, so it’s not so funny any more

Woke up, took a piss out the window, and went to bed

I thought it was good, but I fell asleep on the couch after two or three

Happy birthday Scoob!

@eitmonline.bsky.social PLAY SOME ROCK DICKS

Peanut butter cookies fresh out the oven on paper towels on a cooling rack

Peanut butter cookie time over here motherfuckers

Farting loudly on the couch while my wife talks to text

You’re gonna see a lot of people saying Tombstone

Today’s Jumble was tough

Ham, egg, and cheese on an everything roll

Good morning

Rolls fresh out the oven on a cooling rack (4 plain; 2 poppyseed; 2 everything)

rolling

Fried egg on top of a fried patty of mashed potatoes and cheddar cheese

Good morning

Yoda eating pussy

@eitmonline.bsky.social my brothers and I have shared this one

including and especially “Freak Momma”

all-time great soundtrack, too, with some crazy rap/rock collaborations

Gloppy also unceremoniously whacked

can never play new editions because they killed off my boy Plumpy

I wonder how Duke Dolan and Marie Hawley are doing today

many are saying this