ceej

Jesus Christ

my first username is doing time for check kiting

hi stella

the survivors who chose to follow me into the wilderness after watching me wordlessly rub two sticks together to start a fire are growing dismayed as it starts to become clear I just love rubbing stuff

I like to imagine one of my posts gave you a black eye

hope you’re alright, dude

thanks bro

lol. thou art more lovely and more temperate, bro

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?

maybe don’t mention the dog

it's his first time

this guy's jacking off 🫨

hmm. you bore me. guards, take this peasant to the dungeon and have our wizard apply the Curse of Squeaky Shoe

the only quality trump cares about in a cabinet secretary is whether or not they look good on tv. an opposition party could harness this information to make everyone look bad on tv until every cabinet seat is in a permanent limbo state between Occupied By Ugly Acting Flackey and Currently Embattled

re: the push notification I just received from the New York Times that read, verbatim: "Could War Hurt U.S. Consumers?"

so sorry

tapping sign

“my husband wants me to dress more like tila tequila” girl, the monsters are loose. you are going to die

sometimes a coworker will drop offhand a piece of lore that feels like finding an audio log in a survival horror game

she only knows how to write wet

neither here nor there and the death threats are awful obviously but THAT is EXACTLY what a judge looks like

like the og hitler, he's really stupid

that's nazis

that's just a podcaster who got quantum leaped into having a real job

only one of these guys has an actual read on america and you already know who it is

we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping

someone screenshot of Homer’s desk where he’s covered up the sign with photos of Maggie so it says “DO IT FOR HER”

this has only become more poignant as I’ve grown older and had children of my own and come to the realization that I, like Homer, will never be allowed to retire

I am interested in libbing out some more. I know it’s not good to overindulge but it’s been quite a while since I last libbed out. looking for opportunities for libbing out if you happen to know of any, my good sir, haha

I am not looking for a politician to explain why blowing up 100 little girls is good