Alex I. Thymia

a story about the relationship between a giant robot pilot and her handler and it's set in the lone star state, call that tex-mechsploitation

considering how many people have been given anxiety by linear algebra over the years I think it’s only fair that we’re finally returning the favor

trauma can be as much about what didn’t happen as what did, or so my therapist tells me. I dunno though, I mean why should my well-meaning, loving parents’ failure to meet my emotional needs at critical developmental stages fuck me up in adulthood? they didn’t mean to, they were trying their best!

Tranarchist Bane: “Oh, you think gender is your ally? But you were merely assigned a gender. I was reborn in mine. Transitioned for it. I didn't see the tv glow until I was already perceived as a man. By then, it was nothing to me but blinding! Gender betrays you because it belongs to my people!"

funnily, I’ve had the opposite experience. last time I was due for an eye exam and I went to my optometrist’s website to book an appointment, it was like “we had an opening three hours ago when someone canceled with 12 minutes notice. our next one isn’t until 2046”

the existence of biological sex implies the existence of chemical, radiological, and nuclear sex; in turn, the existence of these implies the existence of sex of mass destruction. in this essay I will

me, seeing it at embed size: oh, I don’t like that. but surely it can’t be that bad at a larger size [taps]
me, seeing the larger size: oh no
me, still in denial, zooming in: OH NO

it’s within three hours of the time my roommate feeds her cats and she’s not home right now so naturally the orange one is wailing like he’s already dying of starvation

you know it’s mildly funny to me that the term “surf the net” basically died out before we were all the way out of the dialup era but the term is fossilized in the name of the SURFboard line of cable modems

I don’t miss much about Android but that’s definitely one thing I miss. on Android if an app shit the bed and started crashing on startup or whatever, I’d just clear cache (and data if cache alone didn’t fix it). on iOS I just quit using it because deleting and reinstalling is so much more of a pain

I wouldn’t exactly expect an OANN anchor to be worldly enough to have known in the first place

(also are they still doing that with songs in movie trailers, I stopped going to movies because of the pandemic so I only see trailers that I go out of my way to watch, which isn’t many)

bonus points if it could be played straight and used in a trailer for something other than a parody of either a specific movie or a genre

what would be the most hilariously incongruous song to get the “slow, somber, minor-key cover with breathy female vocalist made specifically for a movie trailer” treatment?

there’s a reason that of the two “hacker” movies released in 1995, this one isn’t the one that went on to become a cult classic

that comports with my experience driving imaginary ones in euro truck simulator 2, where driving without a trailer feels more like when you go to lift like a milk carton that wasn’t as full as you anticipated so you end up nearly smacking yourself in the face with it

what, yours isn’t socketed?

papa john's pan pizza is pretty decent but I can't tell how it's supposed to be pansexual

and if you’re wondering why I was thinking about this it’s because I had “we built this city” stuck in my head this morning. so I’m talking, like, you know, aesthetically bad here, not morally

leaning towards “yes the difference is meaningful and it’s better to like a bad thing sincerely for its badness since you are in some sense engaging with the thing on its own terms whereas ironic enjoyment tends to involve approaching it with a sneering sense of superiority”

current status: trying to figure out if there’s a meaningful difference between sincerely liking something that is bad *because* it’s bad (or because of the qualities that make it bad, in a sort of “greater than the sum of its parts” way) and ironically liking that same thing, and if one is better

me: hm, I don't see a menu entry in the GIMP to create a mask from a selection. guess I'll google it.
me: [typing] gimp... mask... from... selec--
me: wait a minute
me: [ctrl+a, delete, typing] gnu... image... manipulation... program... mask... from... selection

man if I were in his fiancee's shoes I don't think I could even be mad. after everything I've heard from my homeowner friends, I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy the cheese more

“Scandinavian transplant cultures”

that’s rich coming from a guy whose dad wouldn’t have been considered white at the time Minnesota was getting its Scandinavian transplants

achievement unlocked: got blocked by a dipshit who (charitably) believes that the onion's satire is a psyop to depress democratic voter engagement and turnout, or (uncharitably) doesn't understand the difference between satire and fake news

I'm sorry you don't understand the difference between satire and fake news. here are some reading-level-appropriate resources that might help

simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fake_news

and this was at a public school in a working class area in the south, so it’s not like anything but the athletics program was well funded, so it can’t have been just a “rich kids’ school” thing

has anyone who took whatever class they teach you how to care for a kid in since like 1970 been given a bag of flour? when I was in high school around the turn of the millennium, they gave those kids dolls that cried and simulated needing food or changing, and tracked how responsive the “parent” was

they still do

theonion.com/hm-staff-gat...
theonion.com/noah-wyle-fe...
theonion.com/man-unrecogn...

I’m sorry that more of their satire than you’d like nowadays is political in nature but perhaps its popularity is indicative of something about their readership and the current political climate

the replies to the quoted post sure are something. I guess some people think it’s asking too much to expect the nominal opposition party to actually meaningfully oppose the majority party or even significantly differentiate themselves from them?