Owlsys

Oh, so we’re definitely heading for the cool zone then. Great. I didn’t want a stable global economy anyways, that’s just boring.

trump’s biggest superpower is the ability to tell his most ardent supporters what idiots they are for believing his promises and knowing they’ll just say “please sir can i have another”

me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58

For the next 3 weeks, you're only 6 hours behind me! (Germany springs forward at the end of March)

WYDEN: Now, Mr. Mullin, remember you are under oath for these confirmation hearings and must answer truthfully if you know the answer. When did you stop beating your wife?

MULLIN: (smugly and reflexively) "I don't recall."

THUNE hides his face with papers as he attempts to disappear into his chair

Damnit WHO TOLD HER?!? This was so much funnier when she didn't know she was fired

It's a crazy world out there, man. These shitposts are a load bearing coping mechanism.

Correction. Orwell never said this. He did however, warn that: "political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” (That's Politics and the English Language, one of my favorite essays)

Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership

I'd never tell anyone I'd won the lottery, but there would be signs

Markwayne Mullin Reportedly Fingered Nostrils of Colleagues and Their Spouses During Visit to Israel

what fresh hell

Let me be clear: I’m glad Kristi Noem was fired. But we still have to abolish ICE.

LEWANDOWSKI: If this is your first flight on Fuck Plane...you have to fuck.

[MARKWAYNE nods.]

Meh. Oklahoma is safely red. Stitt will appoint a replacement, and it'll be a special election to make it a permanent thing. Next Republican up.
Source: lived in Oklahoma for 34 infuriating years. No shot in hell it's turning blue... Not even one county.

He's not gonna sleep with you, Markwayne.

Pokémon has released a 30th anniversary logo for every single Pokémon. Quote this with your favorite! 💚 www.serebii.net/pokemon30/

I see no problems

WHEN THE GLOW OF THE BLOOD STAINED MOON SHINES UPON THE LAND.... THE AIMLESS SPIRITS OF SLAIN MONSTERS RETURN TO FLESH. THE WORLD IS THREATENED ONCE AGAIN.

A photo of a cat under a bed with a rotisserie chicken with the caption: This is Beans. Beans stole a while rotisserie chicken off the counter. Not a piece. The whole chicken. Beans dragged it under the bed and growled at us for forty minutes. Beans is 9 pounds.

Become ungovernable

Olympic Gymnast Shannon Miller for me

Holy fuck I love Jamie Raskin so much

lightning, a transparent yelling raccoon in the sky, and a pleading opaque raccoon in the foreground. "Existing?? in THIS economy??"

I'm on this episode now (I let a backlog build up) and this story is just making my blood boil, holy SHIT dude this poor guy

Been a hot minute since #Okstate has had.... Well, anything.... To celebrate.

Oh look, exactly what we said was going to happen when Schumer caved on the shutdown