A dewormer that guts and wipes your capillaries clean of all the times you felt less than, a colonic on a cellular level purging the remnants of hate. However you want to market it is fine. Make it taste like root beer.
I saw my reflection in a dollhouse mirror. And so begins my new life.
telling my boss i need to go home because i sneezed three times and also i don’t want to be here today
Be Kind* An illustration of a frog in a modern jazz dancing pose Text reads: BE KIND* * of odd Jaunty Art 26
Be Kind*
when the ennui takes you
I once killed a man with one of my shitposts. That’s why I’ve been reluctant to get back in the game.
Thanks, Word of the Day, I already know "morose."
I like to imagine the dream people I left behind when I woke up, who probably just saw me vaporize, debating what they think may have happened to me and trying to decide which agency they should call.
I refuse to call purple onions by their brand name “red onions”
😂
Macro photograph of an abalone shell
Cosmic Womb
Macro photograph of an abalone shell
#278 taken 7:12 pm
#photography #art #abstract
Used a meat thermometer to check my temperature. I think I hit a lung.
gazed into the abyss and got left on read
are those goldfish even flavor blasted, bro
9am, time for me to punch in for my shift at the sleepy guy factory
the feet should build the stairs, not the hands
Hangry hippos, stampeding for the river but taking the scenic route for maximum carnage.
Down to smoke and ersatz calculations.
Not now, Babe. I've got to gulp down this tangy psyllium husk before it gels.
don’t worry we’ll build you a new turtle shell even grander than your last
I'm not built for endurance, I'm built for being a sleepy lil guy
A little doodling before bedtime. I’m way out of practice. #watercolor
When Michelangelo got too old to care for himself, his kids put him in Asistine living.
not to brag but I can tie a cherry stem using only my cherry stem tying machine
Me on dates: "Did you know medieval people bathed, vikings didn't have horns on their helmets, Hugo Boss didn't design the Nazi uniforms, the beaked plague doctor mask didn't exist during the Black Death, Moors didn't introduce soap to Europe, Napoleon didn't shoot the nose..."
😂
True true 🧘♂️🧘♀️😄
Same 😄🧠
Me, looking into my secret trove of jokes that I can never ever share because they are too messed up.
Some shots at the barn from last year.
