Carlsbad bad man

Getting really flustered during battle because my sword makes a flirty little "ooh!" sound instead of a "clang" every time it hits another sword.

Woah, super fun 90s vibes

Nothing like waking up to war with Iran all because we can't hold rich people accountable.

Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed.

Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.

I've been told not to look a hotdog horse in the mouth

Well, that was a dope little surprise to start my day. Thanks!

A young man with short hair is speaking, with the text overlay reading "NIKLAS HJALMARSSON - MEATBALL ENTHUSIAST."

He's no fan of music
Not even the bluesiest
He cares not for museums
He thinks they're the snooziest
He can't make smalltalk
He's just not the shmooziest
He’s awful with women
Even the flooziest
He loves only one thing
And of that he's the choosiest
He's

I love the little dance stepping he does at the end

Well, I fucking hate this.

Ornately decorated flintlock pistols from the 17th or 18th century.

Dudes will swear homosexuality is a modern construct and then show you their collection of antique, ornate flintlock pistols.

I'm sorry Ms Jackson
I am surreal
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I'm a fish with one gigantic eye

Hey Hollywood: Dragons vs WWII fighter planes. You’re welcome.

Is Nancy Guthrie in Italy?

Haven't been in ages but it's a classic

I'd settle for a pound of flesh

we should have a third industry besides AI and gambling

I did not guess what that was about

The brick and mortar guy just showed up to do some work on the second floor exterior wall. Instead of coming through the house he just grabbed his ladder, climbed up and then pulled his ladder up after himself.

My plan to gain weight is not working out.

🫠

i fucking love smashing buttons. what kind of button doesn't even matter at all. show me a button, and buddy, i'm gonna smash the shit out of it

What an absolutely insane idea that AI could ever do the job of an Historian or translator, etc. Whoever compiled this has no idea of the skills required for these jobs.

Can you imagine having your mother kidnapped and the person in charge of getting her back is Kash Patel.

we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad

The Italian Skating Teams warmup fit is so fucking cool.

Always good to get an updated version of the Right's lack of self-awareness.

Starting to think public hangings might need to make a comeback

Buffet label reads “Fred Dumplings.”

Dumplings,

Roasted potatoes and/or lemon thyme cookies