Alex

First they came for the trans people, and I said nothing because I wasn’t trans. Then they were like actually I’m pretty sure you are trans and I said no I’m not and they went okay well show us your penis then and I said what no get out of my face and they said that one’s a girl get her

Unfortunately, “Yo brother, legal team confirmed we can’t work with minors rn” is an instant classic

🫡🫡🫡

Mariners vs Padres post-game image with Rob Refsnyder at bat and the score listed as SD 6+ Seattle 6

Silver lining: we got this incredible post from the Mariners' socials team.

Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership

Hey that’s about the cost of the SSI Restoration Act, which would cut recipient poverty by 60%, eliminate marriage penalties, and modernize draconian asset limits.

MLB spring training scoreboard, mid-8th inning. San Diego Padres leading Seattle Mariners 26 to 4. Line score: Padres (SD) scored 0, 12, 5, 1, 2, 1, 3, 2 across innings 1 through 8, with 28 hits and 0 errors. Mariners (SEA) scored 0, 2, 0, 1, 1, 0, 0 through 7 innings, with 6 hits and 2 errors. Season records: Padres 5-7, Mariners 3-8.

Is that good?

I'm worried when Kristi Noem finds out she's been fired she's going to become America's first obedience school shooter.

If I’m ever fired, don’t tell me either. I don’t wanna know

Her staff HATES her lol

Torrent just came so close at the buzzer

SOON

Born to spy on you during sex stuff, forced to spy on you during your morning BM. (The lads down in R&D love it though, shoutout Brian and Cody)

my bike fishies

🤝
getting fucked up by road salt

When someone says „Scientists do not want you to know“ you can dismiss everything from there on. Scientists want you to know. They are desperate that you know. They can’t shut up about what they found out and want you to know.

How many more Nazi sympathetic things would you need to see from him before he lost your support? Genuine question.

Geoffed It

My mom wasnt scared i was a trans guy, because she'd never heard of them.

She did, however, police my appearance to make sure i didnt "look like a lesbian."

Once i came out as trans, she backpedaled and told me "but there are all sorts of ways to be a woman!"

back in MY day OUR illegal Middle East war had FOUR WEEKS of in-country assault planned out before Republican leadership expected democracy to magically happen

Congressional Dems are in a tough spot. On one hand, they could gain incredible advantage in the upcoming midterms by vigorously denouncing Trump's reckless war. On the other hand, they like it.

27 seasons of SVU and the greatest thing they have ever done is briefly show the ADA wearing the jersey from the unit’s otherwise unmentioned rec league softball team

if your government is killing brown people in asia or putting brown people in camps here or doing experiments on trans ppl in jail then the decision of which opinions you want to run is political. if you're running pieces that support these then you need to be able to withstand public criticism.

We've renamed the DOD the Department of War. Our troops are Warfighters. No of course we're not "at war" you dumb lib

I have used
The Patriot missiles
That were stored
In your bases

And which
You were probably
stockpiling
For a war to protect Taiwan

Forgive me
The IRGC was weakened
So unprepared
And so bad.

i'm teaming up with kalshi to pick up a car battery, angle it so that one of its corners is pointed at the ground, and drop it directly on my toenail

This has to be the hardest piece of figure skating-related art in the history of figure skating

I'm all for giving former athletes long term job stability but I think hiring sled dogs as web administrators may be backfiring a bit.