Phantom Limb

Seems like he's picking fights over there because he's losing fights here...

@lesdoggg.bsky.social needs to know: Why are men sending dick pics to everyone EXCEPT their doctor?

On behalf of the entirety of America, I just want to say that "we," as a group, are not doing this. It is literally just a handful of people who apparently can do whatever they want.

if you play me the world's smallest violin i'll push you into the world's biggest canyon. please continue.

Another day, another seemingly endless loop of the dumb and the horrific. Or... Friday

If you screenshot my pics you owe me
dinner.

a bowl of donuts is on a placemat on a table. A hand is touching them. Alt: a bowl of donuts is on a placemat on a table. A hand is touching them.

Sorry I can't keep my hands off your sweet balls. You know what I'm like.

As words fail I stare out, to the world, watching as weeds tango in the breeze, as the leaf jitters on a frail branch, and as a frond flutters in applause for the sun's beautiful day...

But I feel no inspiration, only nature uninspiring, once again.

i talk a lot of shit for someone who routinely gets stuck taking off her sports bra

my adhd is off the c-h-a what if the horizon was velcro on its last rip

If I can see what you see..me without my glasses.

Guys don't like it when you call their penis a manhandle. Booo

There is no greater lie than "Someday."

a man with his head on a cake with the words eat all the cake below him Alt: a man with his head on a cake with the words eat all the cake below him

Gotta get in there and do it right too...

Do you ever not think?

sigh detector test determined that was a sigh

How I feel when someone blocks me: ”ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!”

His and hers midlife existentials

people with no sense of humor do too

people begging to get jerrified make me ill

A virus that Rick Rolls me every time I try to read the news might fix me

Poor pup! Lol

I know that scream well. It's a desperate yawp screech of "What the fuck?!"

Not one person in the current administration ever got excited about the Scholastic Book Fair and it shows.

Why don't the Leprechaun bring me candy? 🤨 The Easter bunny brought me candy. Santa brought me candy. Halloween ghouls got candy for me. Why no Leprechaun? 😕

is The Human Centipede part of the Marvel or DC universe?

I stopped in Home Depot for weed killer, but then this guy asked me if I worked there. I sold him a patio set for a cash discount.

That still sucks. Being all cozy and burritoed (it's a word, my mind tells me so) only to be assaulted by your calf...cruel beyond criminal.

And I didn't think about that but you're right. That is pure irony or...fate. lol.

follow me if you like to feel confused and possibly slightly uncomfortable and also there's ass

Boating fisherman on a lake with three huge skulls underwater

Under the Surface

#Art by Welder Wings