🐝Bernadette🐝

Moldova, my beloved, you’re still my number one 😘

#Eurovision2026 Ok, I NEED to talk about the UK’s entry. English is my first language and I barely caught a word of what that man was saying. Having said that - this could REALLY work for us. The lyrics (after I looked them up because wtf is “peppah-ro-NAAY”?) appear to be refreshingly Euro-positive

Why did we stop sending women away to the coast to treat melancholy? I could really do with that kind of medicine right about now.

Also what the fuck kind of Frenchman doesn’t at least appreciate ballet?! They invented it!

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Timothée Chalamet has gone and done the most basic of schoolboy errors (which is understandable because he’s what, 14 years old? 15?) of thinking that because HE “doesn’t care” about ballet and opera, it follows NOBODY does, which is demonstrably false. Big ballet fan right here, Tim! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Those “London was sooooo unsafe so I moved to Dubai” folks have gone quiet (for once in their lives,) haven’t they?

Nothing humbles you more than having to go get a new passport photo taken. When was one of you going to tell me I look like a fucking Uruk-hai?! I’ve been thinking I was cute this whole time.

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How do you sound like two completely different people while at the same time sounding like yourself?! All hail Dame Julie Andrews.

(Also, I think they’re going to pull a ‘Gossip Girl’ on us…the new Lady Whistledown is Brimsley, 100%.)

I don’t think Dame Julie Andrews gets nearly enough credit for her acting because did anyone notice the extraordinary thing she does at the end of Bridgerton when the Whistledown moniker gets passed on? Her voice changes! It’s still obviously Dame Julie but she somehow sounds completely different.

“I’ll take ‘Least Surprising Creep Revelations’ for 500 please, Alex.”

Also, Eloise greeting a literal baby by nodding and saying “good day” = 🤌🏻. I hope whoever came up with that gorgeous little bit of character work took the rest of the day off after that.

Yes, the end of series 4 was very lovely and all that but where the hell is Daphne?!?! Why wouldn’t she attend her own brother’s wedding or her brother-in-law’s funeral? If Kate & Anthony can make it all the way from India, then Simon & Daphne can get there from *checks notes*…Hastings. #Bridgerton

AND I made in home in a 10cm snowstorm and I didn’t cry ONCE!

Canadian assimilation moment: Today it finally happened - I referred to a man I didn’t know as buddy. As in, “looks like buddy over there is lost.” This is high-level Canadianing and I’m very proud of me for blending in so flawlessly. Someone tell the Governor General I deserve an award or something

The free lunch at work today was a mountain of Jamaican food. We ate at 12 and I haven’t had another bite to eat all day since. I was SO full and happy! The only problem with work lunches is that I always need a nap after and I can’t exactly do that at the office. Well I *could*, but I like my job.

(Also, you’d have never seen this behaviour from the Canadians….just saying.)

Shout out to the ONE guy who can be heard earnestly saying “absolutely” right after the *hilarious* comment about extending the same invite to the women’s team was made. I don’t know who it was but he’s clearly the only one with any balls.

I’m not surprised by the orange ballsack’s locker room comments to the US hockey team (we all know what his locker room banter is.) What I am surprised about is how every man in that room laughed. Their female teammates achieved the EXACT same thing; why is it so funny that they’d get invited too???

Well, shit. #CanadavUSA

I just learned about Punch, the baby monkey and I am NOT ok! 😭

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Wow, the luteal phase really doesn’t bother sneaking up on you anymore once you pass 40, does it?! One minute I’m having a good and very productive day, and the next I’m yelling at my teenager (not for nothing; he did something very dumb) and now I feel like my entire week is ruined.

My cuddly boy 😍

The Democracy Manifest guy being manhandled into a red car by the cops. He's now Andy Windsor and one of the arresting officers is Paddington Bear, who always puts in a shift regardless of his day job as a Peruvian psychopomp.

"Why did you do this to me? For what reason? What is the charge? Trading secrets? Trading succulent state secrets?"

I don’t know how or why but my phone recommended a playlist called ‘Halal Songs’. First track on the list? ‘Shine Jesus Shine’. We’re Halal, guys! Alhamdulillah the divide is closing!

Btw Ramadan Mubarak to my Muslim friends & happy “you’ve got dirt on your face” day to my fellow Catholics.

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Speaking of things I’ve watched recently, I binged all of ‘The Pitt’ this weekend and as brilliant as it is, it’s very upsetting. It is NOT a good time…but it’s fantastic…but I’m upset. You get it.

Thoughts on ‘The Mandalorian & Grogu’ trailer:
- Hutts speaking anything but Huttese is weird
- I’m not a fan of the typography of the title…it’s no ‘Avatar’ in Papyrus font but it’s pretty close
- ANZELLANS!!! 😍
- My precious baby Grogu is looking SO cute!
- I’m really excited
- Martin Scorsese??

VERY disrespectful use of a Byron quote at the end, too. That syphillitic fuckboy already gets waaaaaay too much credit for the creation of that book as it is. And he was a shit writer, too! You know who was a superb wordsmith? Mary Shelley.

If you’re barely going to use the source material at all, why bother calling it an adaptation? Just make an entirely new thing that hits all the same beats and call it, I dunno, ‘Guillermo’s Big Sexy Monster Fantasy Part 5’ or whatever.

Finally got around to watching Guillermo del Toro’s ‘Frankenstein’ and oh boy, there certainly were some choices made there. It looks absolutely beautiful (as you’d expect)….and I think that concludes my list of things I liked about it.

‘How to Get to Heaven from Belfast’ is a real treat. A Sherlockian mystery wrapped up in fantastic comedy. If you liked ‘Derry Girls’ you’ll love this.