This is my way of telling you at home, bald and not camera ready, that your safety means more to me than my hair.
06.03.2026 13:14
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This is my way of telling you at home, bald and not camera ready, that your safety means more to me than my hair.
I don’t want you to fight for me. Believe me, a disproportionate amount of effort will be needed to capture me. I need you to know that I am not worth it.
We simply want to take our committed relationship and invite in the chaotic meaninglessness of a vast and expanding universe.
Recent "How did you find PIC?" from submitters:
- @pw.org
- On a long list of lit mags where you rank 188 out of circa 2000
- My woman's intuition
- The great and powerful Google
- (Is this too honest?) I Googled "places for funny microfiction" and found you!
Forward to 10 coworkers to lay them off for us, or get 9 years bad luck in your job search. 👋🍑
Try to get to the airport a few days early if traveling during the summer flying season.
There's a writer from Tehran who consistently submits to @pointsincase.com, and he always includes these very funny and sadly self-deprecating jokes about why he isn't submitting more. Thinking of him today -- sorry I rejected a piece of yours this week, Behzad, send more soon
I'll be honest, I expected to hate you. I thought our relationship would be filled with searing pain, occasional blood, and lots of tears.
Our universe needs a leader who will fight for you, and I am confident I will be that leader.
The average American couldn’t even locate their core, even if it was part of their own body, which it most definitely is.
Recent "How did you find PIC?" from submitters:
- can't remember, it's been like decades
- I saw other Brown alums published!
- A Substack Article
- We met on a moonlit summer's night in Bangladesh
- During Twitter's golden age
- ChatGPT
The man drains my battery from the second he wakes up to the second he falls asleep, leaving only a few hours for me to charge overnight.
When saying my precious, her vocal fry sends you into a murderous rage
The whole restaurant glares as you fling your body away from the table like you’re protecting the commander-in-chief.
The 2-Month Regression: Your baby is developing so fast! Too fast, actually.
I am not entirely sure why I was so confident that this February would have an extra day.
Lately you’ve become… extremely cluttered. And not in a quirky, millennial-bookstore way.
It was a tough decision to resign from plugging images looking my most beautiful on the best day of my life, but something I finally felt ready to do.
I don't want to keep this depression seasonal anymore. I’m ready to be your year-round crisis.
2:44 P.M.: Sad girl where is my hubba bubblegrunge corporate bluesy Friday afternoon. Try some: can legitimate men wear muscle tees, what is a pre-nup
In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com & I rounded up great writing by Patrick Coyne in @pointsincase.com, Ruth Reichl, and @jessekubanet.bsky.social and Katie Brinkworth in @mcsweeneys.net
Plus my latest in McSweeney's & James' latest in @literaryhub.bsky.social!
Check it out and subscribe ⬇️
He ruined the endings of TV shows, some of which haven’t been made yet. He reminded me to shovel the snow in July.
Great piece in PIC today. A sage warning to fortify the love shack or meditation pod while there's still time.
@pointsincase.com heeded my warning; préparez-vous, Valentine's is coming
Romantic pressure systems are likely to develop in the coming weeks and residents are encouraged to remain calm, plan ahead, and avoid unnecessary exposure.
Recent "How did you find PIC?" from submitters:
- I think it was the blimp advertisement you guys did
- I basically tried and failed before
- I LOVE IT! Funny, witty, and freaking clever that it inspired me to write this
- Surfing
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