Helen Macdonald 's Avatar

Helen Macdonald

@hjm

Writer. One half of a dynamic duo. H is for Hawk, Vesper Flights. PROPHET with Sin Blache. Rep by the Clegg Agency. Non-binary. They/she

11,919
Followers
811
Following
862
Posts
08.05.2023
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by Helen Macdonald @hjm

Meme triptych of Duke Leto and Paul Atreides

Text:

We must not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind.
Why not?
Because people are fucking idiots, Paul.
They're just... incredibly stupid.

Meme triptych of Duke Leto and Paul Atreides Text: We must not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind. Why not? Because people are fucking idiots, Paul. They're just... incredibly stupid.

05.03.2026 05:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 971 ๐Ÿ” 282 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 5

It is a good jumper. But oh boy do I know that "I'm sure I'm smiling" exhaustion face; am sending strength, rest and sympathy.

04.03.2026 14:31 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image

Malcolm Burrโ€™s Insect Legion at your disposal Maโ€™am!

04.03.2026 12:43 ๐Ÿ‘ 3 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
A screenshot of Google's AI Overview answer to the question "is haggis an animal". It says "Yes, the haggis is a small, furry mammal native to Scotland" and goes on to give the typical "asymmetrical legs" details.

A screenshot of Google's AI Overview answer to the question "is haggis an animal". It says "Yes, the haggis is a small, furry mammal native to Scotland" and goes on to give the typical "asymmetrical legs" details.

The Scottish have won the AI Wars.

05.03.2025 19:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 2393 ๐Ÿ” 921 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 63 ๐Ÿ“Œ 95

So glad you enjoyed it!!!

03.03.2026 17:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image

I have seen a lot of cursed stuff in my time in academia but this is among the *most* cursed.
Grammarly is generating miniature LLMs based on academic work so that users can have their writing โ€˜reviewedโ€™ by experts like David Abulafia, who died less than two months ago.

03.03.2026 11:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 3501 ๐Ÿ” 1528 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 96 ๐Ÿ“Œ 283

I will never not adore "and allies" in a fieldguide title. Don't mess with the grasshoppers or the earwigs and crickets and cockroaches will fuck you up

03.03.2026 11:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 118 ๐Ÿ” 18 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 7 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Video thumbnail

@hjm.bsky.social Have some Berlin goshawks right after mating last week in Kรถnigsheide, dear Helen!

03.03.2026 09:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ahh that's made my day! Thank you!

03.03.2026 11:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Good thing some US colleges are closing their Religious Studies departmentsโ€”definitively not โ€œusefulโ€ at all or an area of expertise that might be relevant for understanding our presentโ€ฆ

03.03.2026 03:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 291 ๐Ÿ” 113 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
Video thumbnail

โ€œWiiings!lโ€ ๐Ÿชฝ๐ŸŽถ

02.03.2026 11:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 44 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 3 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Composite image made up of 6 frames, 
2 images wide by side repeated 3 times, zooming in further on the faces each time.
On the left, a woman holds her hand in the air to attract attention while kneeling next to a man who has fallen down clutching his chest,
on the right, a serious-faced man holding a briefcase

Woman:  Y a t'il un docteur ici?.
Man: Je suis docteur. Que se passe t'il?
Woman: Une attaque cardiaque !
Man: Je suis docteur en philosophie !
Woman:  Il va mourir...
Man: Nous allons tous mourir.

Translation in English: 
Woman: Is there a doctor here?
Man: I am a doctor, what happened to him? 
Woman: - a heart attack
Man:  I am a doctor of philosophy
Woman:  He's going to die...
Man: We're all going to die

Composite image made up of 6 frames, 2 images wide by side repeated 3 times, zooming in further on the faces each time. On the left, a woman holds her hand in the air to attract attention while kneeling next to a man who has fallen down clutching his chest, on the right, a serious-faced man holding a briefcase Woman: Y a t'il un docteur ici?. Man: Je suis docteur. Que se passe t'il? Woman: Une attaque cardiaque ! Man: Je suis docteur en philosophie ! Woman: Il va mourir... Man: Nous allons tous mourir. Translation in English: Woman: Is there a doctor here? Man: I am a doctor, what happened to him? Woman: - a heart attack Man: I am a doctor of philosophy Woman: He's going to die... Man: We're all going to die

I've only got 2 French jokes, this is the best

02.03.2026 10:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 306 ๐Ÿ” 84 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 7 ๐Ÿ“Œ 7
Painting of crow in flight over snowy field, crows landing and forest in background.

Painting of crow in flight over snowy field, crows landing and forest in background.

๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ Laura Makabresku

01.03.2026 05:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 274 ๐Ÿ” 74 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

what a stupid violent day in a stupid violent era

01.03.2026 03:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 229 ๐Ÿ” 23 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
โ€œRutherford Statement on Operation Epic Furryโ€ 

โ€œFurryโ€ highlighted by me

http://rutherford.house.gov/media/press-releases/rutherford-statement-operation-epic-furry

โ€œRutherford Statement on Operation Epic Furryโ€ โ€œFurryโ€ highlighted by me http://rutherford.house.gov/media/press-releases/rutherford-statement-operation-epic-furry

Google result showing the presser for Rutherfordโ€™s statement on โ€œOperation Epic Furryโ€ was posted 11 hours ago

Google result showing the presser for Rutherfordโ€™s statement on โ€œOperation Epic Furryโ€ was posted 11 hours ago

What a time to be alive

01.03.2026 01:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 2490 ๐Ÿ” 557 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 68 ๐Ÿ“Œ 156
Colombo Bandaranaike international airport

Colombo Bandaranaike international airport

โ€œAirport jet bridge and corner of terminal on a smoggy tropical morning in a time of war, the sun a fierce, small tangerine. One house crow on the corner of the terminal, the image taken through glass so the whole is streaked and pitted with grime.โ€

01.03.2026 02:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 38 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
GribblesGoBag @GribblesGoBag
Follow
.โ€ขโ€ข
Smascbyjeffchastair
Remember who we are fighting for!
10:42 AM โ€ข Feb 28, 2026 โ€ข 2,893 Views

GribblesGoBag @GribblesGoBag Follow .โ€ขโ€ข Smascbyjeffchastair Remember who we are fighting for! 10:42 AM โ€ข Feb 28, 2026 โ€ข 2,893 Views

itโ€™s probably fine that this meme is one of the top posts on every military Reddit sub right now

01.03.2026 01:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 5334 ๐Ÿ” 1419 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 35 ๐Ÿ“Œ 41

Some
Curtains
In the way
Facility

28.02.2026 20:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 90 ๐Ÿ” 10 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
Trump in dopey USA baseball cap, posed at the head of a table full of crisis actor White House staffer flown into Perv-A-Lago for the โ€œwarโ€ photo op, in a black-draped section of his club, which is supposed to make it look like a high security โ€œsituation room,โ€ but doesnโ€™t.

Trump in dopey USA baseball cap, posed at the head of a table full of crisis actor White House staffer flown into Perv-A-Lago for the โ€œwarโ€ photo op, in a black-draped section of his club, which is supposed to make it look like a high security โ€œsituation room,โ€ but doesnโ€™t.

Cropped version on the previous photo, showing aires peeking in through the high security, top secret curtains.

Cropped version on the previous photo, showing aires peeking in through the high security, top secret curtains.

Pipe and draping does not make it a SCIF. And DEFINITELY not a SCIF if you can just peek your head in from outside.

28.02.2026 20:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 1655 ๐Ÿ” 475 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 143 ๐Ÿ“Œ 124

โ€œThe children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.โ€

James Baldwin

28.02.2026 21:44 ๐Ÿ‘ 2964 ๐Ÿ” 1165 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 11 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Why if my interests are not bombing innocent civilians and just wanting to go ONE FUCKING DAY WITHOUT SOME BULLSHIT. HUH? WHAT ABOUT THAT. YOU FUCKING CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF DESPAIR.

28.02.2026 15:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 209 ๐Ÿ” 55 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Most likely I will do this yes

22.02.2026 11:04 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image
22.02.2026 10:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 68 ๐Ÿ” 36 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Update from Kandy: hotel staff have told me not to enrage the monkeys

22.02.2026 10:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 32 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"I'm 40 years old; I can't be dealing with this" is such a mood

15.02.2026 07:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 124 ๐Ÿ” 56 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Frank OยดHara reads "Having a coke with you"
Frank OยดHara reads "Having a coke with you" YouTube video by Modo de Usar

The best

#ValentinesDay

14.02.2026 12:51 ๐Ÿ‘ 119 ๐Ÿ” 39 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 3

In a crowded field, spraying forever chemicals linked to cancer, liver, kidney & thyroid disorders directly on to food crops has to be one of humanity's worst thought out moves ever.

10.02.2026 12:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 137 ๐Ÿ” 85 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 4 ๐Ÿ“Œ 3

"includes 32 parts"

Model kits can be hauntology.

10.02.2026 09:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 30 ๐Ÿ” 2 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Post image Post image Post image Post image

Since #bbclaurak is trending, letโ€™s remind ourselves that ONE MONTH ago, the BBC invited Mandelson on for a soft-ball interview on her show. While HIS CLIENT , Palantirโ€™s Louis Moseley appeared as a pundit

Both, as I wrote at time, were โ€˜abject failures of journalismโ€™
1/

08.02.2026 10:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 2604 ๐Ÿ” 1243 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 75 ๐Ÿ“Œ 60