Couth

Beating my opponent’s in chess by using my butt plug to give his bad information

a man in a cape is holding a blue lightning bolt in his hands with the caption kepler below him ALT: a man in a cape is holding a blue lightning bolt in his hands with the caption kepler below him

Some positive energy

Gonna start a war
Start a regular war

Putting this conversation behind a paywall

Yes. And that scene where they describe the people eating by sharks after the ship wreck gives me nightmares.

This was a good one but honestly they were all about poop. He was just in that phase. Lol

Bidet toilet lid with the label "why are you pooping"

Our kid got ahold of the label maker a year or two ago.

I am trying to speak to him in a language he understands.

FINGERS CROSSED

Life hack for not getting holes in your teeth: brush them every night.

-me, to my 8yo

My personal needs and desires are inscrutable, even to myself, AND I VOTE

an artwork by Spindle of the character Ottilie, a human with brown hair tied up a bun, wearing a black turtleneck, green cardigan, and yellow socks. Sitting in the "Bad Girlfriend Box." Because she ate all the cookies

the girlfriend punishment box

girlboss, gatekeep, gaslight
#mozzmemes

Is it vegan at that point?

What does the bluesky tamagotchi evolution tree look like?

Green bug on white wall with long antenna and delicate wings and red feet

Look who came to live in my house.

a man with a mustache is talking on a cell phone in a store . ALT: a man with a mustache is talking on a cell phone in a store .

Me, to everyone at a conference I was not planning on going to today.

Clocks forward on women's day

The guy who said the only guarantees are death and taxes never had to do his own laundry.

More of us should commute by jet ski

Letting Kristi Noem give a press conference before she realizes she’s fired is a pretty hardcore start to white history month

Went and touched my neighbor's grass today because both our husbands were out of town. Which sounds cooler than it was, but it was still pretty cool.

Should I open all my wounds? Asking for a friend.

We are also doing moon water so I think it will be fine.

Newbery book club

ohio is coming for you

Is there a vaccine for identity theft?

Everyone at my company got their w2s stolen so we are going to sage the building.

This is a flimsy paper identity until they can print me a new one. At the IRS.

Sorry if I skeet bad, my identity was stolen. This is a back up identity.