Nice!
06.03.2026 23:09
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Nice!
What did you get?!?
Look, it’s been A WEEK. As a treat, I’ve put together a newsletter where we can all fight about something with lower stakes, that will also fill us with joy, and get us to listen to our favorite records. You’re welcome. buttondown.com/monteiro/arc...
This happened a while ago, and maybe it’s been fixed, but on my last visit to PHL I was attempting to charge my laptop. Every wall socket I tried spat the charger back out. And I tried at least a dozen. It was the most Philly thing.
“Charge my laptop, please.”
“Fuck you. Make me.”
Respect.
PHL. The Greyhound Terminal of airports.
These are the 4 things AI can do well:
•Clean up your email inbox (badly)
•Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party
•Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself
•Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday
You can see why we need to base our economy around it
Donald Trump is a child rapist
Thread 256K views bookandbeerreview 4h & Threads Good news: my plumber from when I managed an Applebees is now in charge of homeland security and that is one of the least crazy things about the current administration so that's fun for all of us 1/3 • 19.6K Q 452 G 1.5K 7 1.6K Top v View activity > + bookandbeerreview 2h *For everyone thinking this is satire: I get it. We all joke so much here. But, alas, I'm serious. I managed restaurants for nearly 20 years before becoming an author and he was, indeed, a plumber in Oklahoma when I ran an Applebees there. The company was called Mullin Plumbing. It appears he stepped down and handed over the company when he got into politics. 2/3 O 2.4K Q12 G 45 V 22 bookandbeerreview 2h *and my final note - I'm not disparaging plumbers here. I come from a VERY blue collar family. My mother managed a Taco Bell and my dad was a contractor. I have a ton of relatives who went to trade school. My point is that I do not wish for any of them to be in charge of homeland securitv. 3/3
“Good news: my plumber from when I managed an Applebees is now in charge of homeland security and that is one of the least crazy things about the current administration so that's fun for all of us”
it's almost like the consultants should be focus grouping mamdani instead of their racist aunt
We know that ICE never left Minnesota, but there are signs that any drawdown phase is over.
ICE activity is ramping up across the country and Minnesota isn’t exempt from that. ICE has set a new baseline of “normal” ICE activity in our state and that baseline is rising again.
Dear readers, as I am attempting to track down how many books were lost in The Great Mail Truck Raid, if you’ve received your book can you please post a photo of yourself smiling and holding the book? If you have a cute pet, please include your pet in the photo. Thank you.
Israel is bombarding, literally bombarding, two Middle East capitals, Beirut and Tehran, killing 100s of civilians, and yet the US and UK media continue to portray Iran as the threat to the region.
Israel has nukes, but Iran is the nuclear threat.
We live in Orwellian times.
I can make it even darker. If you ordered your book from me you might’ve found the secret story. They book the postman returned to me no longer had the secret story. It’s just out there. By itself.
Oh yeah, buy my book! People are LITERALLY heisting mailtrucks to get their hands on it. It's THAT good! www.mulebooks.com/store/how-to...
Yeah, that to me is the saddest part. The boxes are PINK. They scream I AM FULL OF DONUTS. Imagine being hungry and thinking THE MAIL TRUCK IS FULL OF DONUTS and then you get rewarded with THAT fucking book.
Most likely.
Oh, and Jared from Minneapolis, your book has seen some shit, man!
Anyhooo… I've got my eye on the shipping software. Whatever isn't marked as "in transit" by tomorrow will get re-sent. Which is really fucking annoying… but in the larger context of everything else… we deal.
Therapy is amazing.
And the person who swiped the boxes from the mailtruck? I don't know what kind of day they were having. I don't know what happened to them in life that led to them swiping the packages from a mailtruck. (Yes, this is an ad for Universal Basic Income.)
This dude was probably nervous as hell as he drove over here to deliver this news, and he seemed genuinely concerned about my shipment. The UPS guy went out of his way because he stumbled on a stack of packages that weren't even his concern.
And to be honest, I was starting to get angry. But then I realized this guy wasn't at fault. Sometimes stupid shit happens and it's fair to get mad that stupid shit has happened, but it's not ok to get mad _at_ someone because stupid shit happens. It just happens.
He then told me that an unknown amount of books may or may not be missing. He had no way of knowing because they don't get logged in until they hit the post office. He said I should check my shipping software. He looked incredibly worried about how I would react to all this, which was fair.
Yesterday the UPS guy (yes, a second delivery concern has entered the arena) found a small stack of pink boxes on his route. With a single black book sitting on top. He was nice enough to track down the USPS driver and give him the books. The driver then used the return address to find me.
Apparently, there was a mail truck heist heist yesterday. And the 40ish books that were picked up at my place were part of it. Or maybe the reason for it? There's a lot of confusion.
Here's what we know:
It's definitely my handwriting. And I've personalized, signed, and shipped about 100 books this week. (Thank you, everyone!)
He asks me if it's mine.
I say yessss, kinda but it looks like it's supposed to be on it's way to someone named Jared, and hey! Wasn't it in a box?
Right. About that…
Giant stack of pink boxes. Waiting to be picked up.
Here’s a fun story. Erika and I are on our way out to grab lunch when there’s a knock on the door. I go to answer and there's the mailman and he's holding a copy of my book. Which is odd. Why is the mailman holding a copy of my book? He hands it to me. I open it up and it’s signed. "To Jared."
Markwayne Mullin, who’s replacing Kristi Noem as the person in charge of kidnapping our neighbors, is… [checks notes] … [checks notes again] … Cherokee MAGA?!?
America is a very fucked up place.
www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
Hahahaha, SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
