[inventing the hot air balloon] I don't give a fuck where I go
05.03.2026 17:15
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[inventing the hot air balloon] I don't give a fuck where I go
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion
sometimes a coworker will drop offhand a piece of lore that feels like finding an audio log in a survival horror game
I don't dress up to impress people. I dress up so that if I randomly turn into a ghost, I won't hate the outfit that I'm stuck wearing forever.
Vanilla is one of the most popular scents. But have you ever sat down to experience the aroma of a homecooked lasagna? It reminds you of family, it reminds you of home & it fills you with comfort. This is why we, the folks at Dove, are introducing a brand new line of soaps and-
Due to personal reasons, I've decided to replace my hair with snakes & turn people who stare at me into stone.
ME: [opens video called "Easy Meals When I Don't Feel Like Cooking"]
VIDEO: These recipes only take about 30 minutes to make-
ME: [closes video]
This might be a hot take but personally, I would like it if good things started happening again too.
A happy magic frog that says poof. You are now untired and very happy.
I CAST WHIMSY ON THE SKYLINE
if you need me, i’ll be in my study, working on a new sandwich
The purpose of this website is to help unburden your brain by releasing horrible sentences that live in there like demons
thank you friend :) we are doing well and we are up to some spring cleaning around the apartment today
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i contain exactly one multitude
when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.
feeding my baby an escalating series of spicier foods to train her for her eventual appearance on Hot Ones
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be supportive. Say stuff like, “Nice battling, dude.”
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Cancelling plans is okay. Putting yourself first is okay. Going for a long walk is okay. Abandoning society is okay. Moving into a cave with a family of raccoons is okay. Giving them tiny swords & shields is okay. Do what you need to do to cope.
"Trauma makes you stronger" Well, I don't want to be strong, I want to drink an iced coffee & buy things online
I'm just glad my brain is a vault of Jokes From The Before Times
tweet by @nice_mustard being an adult is realizing that everybody has been a dumbass your whole life and they still are, also you are a dumbass, as well
thank you Ray, got it
I resent having to think about politics this much. Ideally most of my thoughts would be about playing a video game and collecting a big crystal
I know exactly which tweet you mean and can't for the life of me remember that guys username to find the actual post but I think it had something to do with mustard
Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.
if i ever have to land a plane, i’m gonna try to ‘set her down easy’ - that’s a promise
a screenshot directly from Roxi's store featuring multiple designs for t-shirts including Vive Le Canada above a Maple Leaf, I'm Doing My Best (with a shark jumping out of the water), a skull with expletives above it's head, a raccoon wearing a crown, a design that has two raccoons near a trash can that has the text SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL GARBAGE GANG around it, a drawing of Baba Yaga's hut, an opossum wearing a crown, a shark jumping out of the water with the text EAT THE RICH
Here is your semi-annual reminder that I do draw stuff sometimes & have an online store: shop.roxiqt.com 👻
If you’ve felt exhausted, anxious, or numb in the face of nonstop political turmoil, you’re not imagining it and you're definitely not alone.
@sarahsloat.bsky.social looks at the research on the psychological and physical toll of polycrisis.
I think I could be persuaded into becoming very still for maybe a moment but then I would have to get right back to squirming
Normalise lying face down on the floor at any time for any reason