Piperaceae

Mom's side: Steel worker
Dad's side: Mechanic, later nuclear engineer

"Please input restitution for one glass of humandrink, carbonform! INPUT! INPUT!!!!!!!"

Does anyone else remember the final episode of the Hair Bear Bunch, where they're shipped off to fight in Vietnam? Or did I just hallucinate that?

Me, to the cat: "Good job! You got that feather! That'll teach it to... sleep with your wife?"

I've gone from mild wonder about what the Dropout comics are paid, to very deep concern as I watch them eat Post-It Notes for small change.

A telltale sign you've entered the mirror universe is that all their Hallmark movies star Jennifer Hate Hewitt.

"The Flop Sweatshop" would finally be a comedy club whose name set the proper expectations.

I will never tire of referring to English muffins as "anglicized muffs."

There needs to be a rule that the Pantone color of the year has to be an actual color; white doesn't count.

The Hobbit is a lot like the Star Wars prequels, except there are 13 Jar-Jars.

It's really hard to take Deathstalker seriously when his heroic anthem sounds like the theme to Munchie, and he looks like Jon Hamm playing Iggy Pop.

The special effects artist has previously worked on such classics as Amityville Chupacabra, and Carnivotter.

The Deathstalker reboot seems to be mostly comprised of footage from GWAR concerts.

Well there it is. Civ 7 is the first game I've ever uninstalled after a couple hours and requested a refund on.

I'm going to date myself and admit I've been playing this franchise since Civ 1 on the Amiga in 1991.

If they refuse, at least it was on a fire sale and 35% off. Now I see why.

Me to my partner, after only partially shaving - "What if I began a new career as a mustache pervert?"

I keep referring to Dept. Q as "Avenue Q," and I just don't care enough to correct myself.

Or is the US? That would make even more sense...

If alternate universes are typically signified by minor spelling variations (Cheeri-ohs and Scrobble on Earth-X), does this mean the UK is an alternate universe, with "colour" and "defence?"

I just can't. Google is absolutely useless anymore.

1986 Double Dare Pitch: "Yeah, so it's a ripoff of Family Feud, but with an eye towards appealing to sploshing fetishists..."

Covid booster booked for tomorrow, before anything changes and medicine is outlawed again.

Chef Boyardee?

They once deleted my personal IG that was nothing but pictures of my cat, saying I was trying to trick people into following me. It was a private account. 🤦

If anyone needs to pair an 8BitDo Ultimate controller to a Switch 2, there are TWO firmware updates to run. One while docked, another while connected to a PC with a USB cable. One is v1.04, the other is v1.11. Once both are complete, it will pair with the Switch 2 using Bluetooth.

Rabid Steve Jobs fanboys

I always assumed the song "Bette Davis Eyes" was about some sort of organ harvesting scheme.