thinking about dunk and egg boys again. while lyonel baratheon is the flashy choice, lets not leave out the beautiful drunk lout prince. he's such a smoldering loser i want to light his cigarette so bad
there's a particular breed of white boy who got super excited to show you his grandpa's war spoils but thought it was cool because it had a swastika on it and not because grandpa killed a fascist to get it
your great great grandpa taking home spoils of war that have swastikas/veterans flying stolen iron crosses as trophies after the war >>> current GOP
they've road runner'd the drones with the fake targets, the secret service needs to sweep maralago's ceilings for any dangling pianos
if we got hit with a missle in beautiful queens, new york, i would be pissed at donny. if iran struck me with a big cartoon anvil, i'd still only be pissed at donny.
the big problem with the MCU was that not a single one of those movies was a Tremors movie. put a grabboid in captain marvel and i guaruntee i'd have renamed dart to whatever the fucking cat's name in that is.
RFK JR: [eating a full roasted terrier like its a corn on the cob] most americans don't know that dogs naturally carry the cure to america's worst virus, lycanthropy
if you stayed in the flyovers when roe v wade got overturned, welcome to The Vision of What Came To Pass
yeah man welcome to line, so this week we’ll go over how to effectively navigate the kitchen. next week I will personally human trafficking you onto a houseboat so you can be my dessert pervert’s padawan
“after connecting with my roots and appreciating the smaller things in a regular life, it’s time to make my baker who’s mom died how to do Heston Blumenthal magic”
it lost me when it went from a show about yelling to a show about Thomas Keller cameos
that’s something that would get you shot in the head for saying, which I never would. out loud
unlike most people, when I have a thought that would get me shot in the head, I don’t say it out loud. some people have decided to not only say these things out loud, but often into a recording device
is there a Mrs Painful Pumper?
pump pain? i should call him…
getting thrown out of the work truck when I ask my coworker if his gaiter is his day collar or just a fashion choice
contrary to popular belief, hegseth is not actually fully automated. The model currently in production is near life like, but requires remote piloting by the dumbest hearts of iron fan
sorry I had a fugue state when you described the perfect man
finally my time has come, I was born to destroy a gearbox
they’re cooking up the most deranged trans distraction angle. trump is going to say AGP on broadcast as he announces the bombing campaign on callen lorde
sorry I’m not doing “oh my god her fillers are bad” she obviously had bad work done before and she looks like an evil skeleton trying to escape it’s meat prison
I’m going to be very honest: both pictures look like an decrepit evil person. her style in the first picture is the southern church lady, which is one of the most evil kind of lady
look George, we need to talk. no no, everything’s fine, it’s just…. Starkiller was such a good last name. Han Solo should also be a big bug man.
I’m at The Event, in The Place
suing a landlord out of their home because I stepped in a single beagle’s human sized dump would be pretty sick
although I think a good solution is that dog shit on the sidewalk is the responsibility of the property owner to clear just like ice and snow
sorry but I think if you want a dog that you don’t take care of you have 49 other states without pedestrians
mamdani could be the king of america if he made it so that New York City dog owners must apply for and renew annually a license to keep their dog. if you don’t every year, spring melts will get worse when dog owners think burying a turd in snow is The Shit Prestige
me and the pregnant lady at work both throwing up in unison. this is the solidarity I was promised
buddy they’re obsessing over 2d anything. they’re getting clippy pregnant every month
