Is that... Lara Croft? No, it's...

SOMEBODY CLOSE TO A LIGHTSABER, the REAL stars of the Star Wars universe. BZOW! Maybe SHE has one! If she doesn't, who fuckin cares about her, right? She'd better have her own fucking lightsaber, and she'd better not be better than men with it... ^I look forward to hearing from that guy about my Star Wars takes. I'm sure I will. But in seriousness, this is NOTHING. It's embarrassing to even tease with this. Like... is it Disney? That owns Star Wars? Should be ashamed of themselves. They literally aren't and can't be, but they SHOULD be.

... huh.

Well, if I'm honest (and I am), I laughed aloud, entirely derisively, when this moment occurred late in the #StarWars #FateOfTheOldRepublic #teaser #trailer. Imagine it scored to an orchestral swell and a BZOW lightsaber igniting sound.

youtu.be/lAmkl1jL0fo?...

#thisisnothing #wompwomp

Darius “The Rumble” Grouch, III. “I’m not just a businessman…”

Cut to a reaction shot, but someone forgot to tell the actor to react (usually, you’d say “Action!” and the person would, like, know what that means, having presumably done all this before)

“… I’m an opportunist. So I bought your debt.” I see why they included this little act-out in their video (cutaway/photoshop gags not typical of RLM, but boy, when they do it); it’s hilarious, and only getting more so 😆

“I’m not just a businessman… I’m an opportunist. So I bought your debt.”

This scene from wildly-bad #thisisnothing not-movie #MoneyPlane (title TBD 😆) plays soo much better with #OscarTheGrouch (than #KelseyGrammer) as Darius Grouch III 🤣

youtu.be/FaSNvI7oShk?...

#RLM #FilmSky #ol #RedLetterMedia

A ★ review of Dumb Money (2023) This is nothing. The sound design is CRIMINALLY bad. The music is, like, 6x louder in the mix than the dialogue audio, and it’s one of the worst screening experiences we’ve had at PorchLight. This mov...

Super proud of our #DumbMoney #letterboxd #moviereview: boxd.it/arH63p

This doesn’t feel like a real #movie. It feels like a feature-length movie-within-a-movie, and there’s, like, no substance here 😵‍💫

Another one for the #thisisnothing tag 😎

#FilmSky #film #movies

A ★★ review of Long Distance (2024) BlueSky Thread This movie isn’t much of anything. The INTERMINABLE protracted mostly-VO conversations between the two leads are some of the least-compelling, most inert cinema I’ve ever seen. But ther...

This was pretty uninspired.

Weirdly, some $ went into its production, but there’s not much here.

This is a #thisisnothing #film 🤦‍♀️

LONG stretches of boring, flat VO conversations between characters offscreen, and the whole thing is limp and boring.

boxd.it/ajRqyv

#FilmSky #Film #LongDistance

A ★★ review of The King's Man (2021) BlueSky Thread This isn’t much of anything. It’s got some fun action set pieces; not much in the way of characters or actual conflict/drama/story. The retconning of actual history, including using Len...

I wouldn’t say #thisisnothing, bc there’s plenty of satisfying, energetic, well-choreographed #action — which is what these are for, really, I think — but the surrounding characters, storyline, everything are… off.

Only works for me on level of Action-Adventure 🤔

boxd.it/aj3I8v

#FilmSky #Kingsman

A ★ review of The Double (2011) This is nothing. “I don’t give a good goddamn about your expectations,” says the script. Good, because I expect I’ll never watch this again (and forget I have, if I do) 🤔

Didn’t care for #TheDouble 🤔

boxd.it/adXVRh

#FilmSky #thisisnothing #badmovie #moviereview #moviesky #film #letterboxd

SKULL ISLAND!

That took me sooooo long to figure out 🤣

Yeah that 1 was wacky enough to dodge my #thisisnothing tag, but only barely. A handful of fun moments, and I guess you need characters in order to messily kill them off.

“That was an unconventional encounter,” worth the price of admission 😆

A ★ review of Into the Blue (2005) This is nothing.

Got a new 1 for the #thisisnothing tag/list:

boxd.it/a6nynj

You can find the list (which is ever-growing) at: boxd.it/I5wf0

It’s not there by accident; #IntoTheBlue is nothing. Barely a #movie.

We shouldn’t have bothered at #PorchLight — but you can still save yourself… 😩

#FilmSky #letterboxd

A ★★ review of The Other Guys (2010) BlueSky Thread This is worth watching for Michael Keaton’s performance, alone, but it’s — at BEST — a very mixed bag, and is mostly not much of anything. But Ferrell and Wahlberg (YUCK!) taking meetin...

It has its moments, but Adam McKay’s #TheOtherGuys (2010) is decidedly a 2-star #film for me on #letterboxd, down from 3-stars when I saw it.

Keaton is doing sincerely good work, but Wahlberg is retroactively intolerable and this barely dodged my #thisisnothing tag 🧐

boxd.it/a64uRr

#FilmSky #Film

This Is Nothing Some films are made because someone, somewhere, had a story they needed to tell, a story that was bursting out of them and that they needed to share with the world. These aren't those movies. These ar...

All right, we've been compiling a list of #films we thought were absolutely nothing 🤓🐈‍⬛🐈🐈‍⬛🐈

Think the hit-and-run victims in that #ITYSL sketch - NOTHING. They're not even supposed to be around here, in the area.

boxd.it/I5wf0

#thisisnothing #letterboxd #FilmSky #FilmCritic #movies #badmovies #Film

😤

#letterboxd

boxd.it/chDvZ

1,364 tags including my personal favorite #thisisnothing, which is growing by the day 🤓

#FilmSky #movies #FilmCritic #films

Like our bio says, “we watch a lot of movies and we’ve got a lot to say.”

The #KCookandCatsCo #thisisnothing tag, as it currently stands. And we’re finding new entries pretty much every time I let anyone else pick the movie at #PorchLight 😅

boxd.it/chDvZ

#FilmSky #movies #films #badmovie

A ★★ review of Green Zone (2010) This is nothing 😳 It’s, like, all the trappings of a good thriller, but just utterly soulless and empty. The score is thumping and they’re credibly jumping from action set piece to action set piece an...

Here’s a new one for my #thisisnothing #letterboxd tag: boxd.it/9WlYVx

I pulled out some #Shakespeare to pan this soulless, why-bother (alleged) #thriller 🤓

you’re welcome! 💁‍♀️

#FilmSky #moviereview #PorchLight #KcookandCatsCo #FilmCritic #englishmajor

A ★ review of Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024) This is nothing

Someone put on #KungFuPanda 4 here at PorchLight, and woof, this #script is 1st-pass & it’s SO perfunctory.

I think it’s also predicated on Jack Black’s likability, which he has MINED (ha!) pretty aggressively lo these past few years.

boxd.it/9QcfAH

A new #ThisIsNothing #Letterboxd entry 😆

A ★★ review of Extraction (2020) Put on Jakextraction for my mates at PorchLight, since I’d never seen it, but had heard about it on The Weekly Planet. This is nothing. This movie is aggressively nothing 😆

Line from the #film #Extraction:

“You’ve got a chicken in your bedroom.”

“Yeah, I like chickens. Except when they shit everywhere.”

Jesus CHRIST this #script is terrible 😆

boxd.it/9LEV3L

#letterboxd #filmsky #moviesky #firstviewing #badscript #thisisnothing #badmovie #filmcritic #KCookandCatsCo

A ★★ review of Dracula Untold (2014) The game is on! I’ve always wanted to see Dracula Has an iPad, after hearing about it from The Weekly Planet lads. It’s not as bad as I was hoping 😅 Follow Kay & Cats on BlueSky (LiveSky movie reviews...

The game is on! 😎

boxd.it/9KAuvr

Dyk #Dracula Has an iPad features one Dominic Cooper as the sultan - I know him best from #Preacher, in which he was the best part of a real mixed bag (more good than bad? hard to say).

Fun to see him here!

Though #thisisnothing 😆

#FilmSky #letterboxd #film

Didn't end well 😆

I've NEVER turned around so hard on a #movie ever, not even #UnbearableWeight of Massive Talent.

I'll post my #handwrittennotes to #Insta in a few, but back 2/3 of them are all variations on #thisisnothing."

A real shame, bc it had a promising start.

#filmsky #TheWildRobot